Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Are You Having Relationship Difficulties

A Sure Catalyst for Answers, Growth and Personal Transformation.

Lets set the record straight and say that relationships are fraught with deep challenges, inner pain, turmoil and downright agony at times. Ive lived through it myself, and have found a way that is beyond anything I can describe to get out of the pain, see the situation from the higher perspective as opposed to the personality perspective, and transform each and every challenge into profound personal growth and transformation.

For some of you, what I am about to share might seem a bit out there and for others, this will be a welcome relief.

How did I transform it all? How did I receive the wisdom to do it when I was immersed in deep pain? I will tell you. I honestly and purely wrote letters to God asking for answers, and I received them.

I asked for the highest perspective. I asked how to transform it all. I asked for the view I could hold within my mind to help me transcend the pain my personality was experiencing so that I could discover my truth, and then have the inner strength to follow through in my actions.

Many people think that God does not answer us personally. I can attest to the countless people I teach about how to receive answers from God that God does answer, and not only with answers, but with life transforming insight.

The process is actually simple. Write your questions from your heart, and ask for Divine guidance. Ask how to overcome your challenges. Ask how to deal with the situation so that your words and actions support what is for your highest good, as opposed to just what your personality might be stuck on.

Sometimes what we think we5B4 want is not always for our highest good. Many times, we can look back on situations from our past and admit that the people and situations that did not work out, ultimately worked out for our best. Its easy to see from hindsight, and I want you to learn how to see and receive the wisdom you can receive so that even during your most painful and emotionally challenging times, you can actually receive the guidance you need that will far outweigh your trying to figure it all out on your own on the personality level.

When I was experiencing deep emotional pain from a string along relationship, I had been doing writings to God for many years. While I had tears flowing down my cheeks, the words of God came into my mind, as I wrote my book Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE. I definitely did not write that book on my own accord, or from my wisdom. I was in pain. It was all written through me, chapter by chapter, and the words and messages healed my pain, and then went on to help so many other people who are in pain in the area of romantic relationships.

Lets face it, if anything can get a woman to write letters to God, it would be from experiencing relationship pain, and wanting answers. You can receive answers too!

Use the emotional pain you feel in your heart as a catalyst for receiving the higher perspective. From that vantage point, you will receive objective clarity, gui5B4dance, insight, direction and truth. You will be amazed at the higher perspective you receive and even more amazed at how this helps you to transform your difficulties into authentic opportunities for personal growth and transformation.

When you write you questions, ask from your heart, and then as words flow into your mind in the form of an answer, write every word you receive verbatim and then re-read what you received in your writing.

Dont ask for predictions, ask for solutions. Dont ask how everything is going to turn out. That is based on fear. Ask what you can do, and how you can view the situation so that you are coming into your highest truth, even if you feel afraid of loss.

The one person on earth that you can never lose is yourself. The one place where you can receive every answer to every question that is weighing on your heart and in your mind is your God-Self within. Your Higher Self. This has nothing to do with religion. Whether you call it God, All That Is, Source, Holy Spirit, no matter what name you give it, the source is the same. It is our life force. It is that still small voice within. It is your gut instincts and you can receive it all in writing, so that you can always have a place to turn to any time you feel uncertain. You will become authentically empowered, and your life will begin to transform as you honor your truth.

Many times, it is a process, as opposed to a one ti5ADme event. Many times we might not follow or listen to the higher guidance we receive, such as to leave a destructive and emotionally hurtful relationship out of fear of not being loved, or being alone. However, the truth will ultimately win in the end as you keep asking for the higher perspective, and as you keep persevering with the true desire to want to grow and evolve, rather than try to change another person.

If you want true changes in your life and in your relationship, you have to evolve and change, just like I did. We all have to. Relationships are the most extraordinary catalysts to get us to honor our truth, and our painful feelings cause us to ask ourselves what we really want. The answers we receive will be what we ultimately want on a soul level, and what is for our highest good. You are entitled to live a life of inner peace, rather than in constant emotional drama and inner pain.

Ask the questions. Read your answers, and above everything else, follow what you know in your heart to be your deepest truth rather than lie to yourself. Youre all youve got. Start to become your own best friend. Set the intention to lift yourself up by asking how to in your writings. You will receive all of the answers you need. It is your divine birthright after all.

Copyright by Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Barbara Rose, PhD. most widely known as "Born To Inspire" is the best selling author of "Know Yourself", "If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer!", "Stop Being the String Along", "If God Was Like Man" and Individual Power. She is an internationally recognized expert in the field of personal transformation, relationships and spiritual awakening. Barbara is a pioneering force in incorporating Higher Self Communication, the study and integration of humanitys God-Nature into modern personal growth and spiritual evolution. Her highly acclaimed books, public speaking events, tele-seminars, widely published articles, and intensives have transformed the lives of thousands across the globe. She is the founder of IHSC -Institute of Higher Self Communication, inspire! Magazine and Rose Humanitarian Alliance. Barbara holds a Ph.D. in Metaphysics and works in cooperation with some of the greatest spiritual leaders of our time, to uplift the spiritual consciousness of humanity. Visit her website http://www.borntoinspire.com

The Motivation Myth

"It is the ultimate management conceit that we can motivate people." Peter Scholtes, team effectiveness consultant and author

After six years at Universal Pictures, Harry Cohn formed Columbia Pictures in 1924. During the following decades he ran the company with an iron fist. His image as a tyrant was reinforced by the riding whip he kept near his desk to crack for emphasis. Cohn form of "motivation" led to the greatest creative turnover of any major studio. At his funeral in 1958, one observer suggested that the thirteen hundred attendees "had not come to bid farewell, but to make sure he was actually dead."

Some parents want their kids to be independent as long as they do everything they're told to. Some team leaders want their teams to be empowered as long as they follow directions. What some "leaders", call "motivation" is getting others to carry out their orders. Some seem to live by the philosophy that if I want any of your bright ideas I'll give them to you. Just do what you're told...and look like you're enjoying it. These forms of "motivation" are based on fear and force. If the punishment is strong enough and the policing rigid enough, they will lead to compliance. People will follow the rules and marching orders. But that's all. Energy, creativity, and extra effort will be minimal. So will ownership and commitment. The only passion tyrants and autocrats create are fear, loathing, and the desire for revenge.

The key problems of the Motivation Myth are clearly illustrated by a Farcus cartoon; a team leader is at the head of a conference table addressing her team with these words, "we need to improve morale, any of you boneheads have a good idea." The main cause of the problem seems pretty obvious. She just needs to look in the mirror. But obviously the obvious isn't always so obvious. Root causes and symptoms are continuously confused. The Farcus team leader is treating low morale as a problem to be solved rather than an indicator of much deeper issues. Clearly a key source of a deeper problem is her contempt for her team and her forcefulness. Her approach is like an auto mechanic reporting, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

Many of the symptoms and root causes of motivation and morale can be clarified by understanding the doing versus being aspects of mobilizing and energizing. We need to get beyond "do to" programs and techniques. The big sticks of fear, punishments, and discipline or the carrots of incentives and rewards may work in the short term. But to keep them working, we need to continually increase the beatings or sweeten and vary the incentives. Eventually the beatings will burn people out and they will quit. Some will leave and find other jobs. Many will silently resign and continue to report for work everyday.

People should be fairly rewarded for their contributions. The absence of money can be demotivating, but its presence doesn't provide healthy, long-term motivation. Using money or types of incentives to get increased performance turns people into selfish, 5ABself-centered mercenaries who are increasingly tuned into WIFM (what's-in-it-for-me). Pride, teamwork, concern for customers, shared values, growing and developing, passion, meaningful work, and the like fade. These become hollow words that raise "the snicker factor" whenever they are heard.

Effective mobilizing and energizing goes well beyond "doing" programs to the "being" or culture of a team, organization, or any group including a family. That culture is a set of shared attitudes and accumulated habits around "the way we do things here." The culture provides the context or backdrop that either energizes or exhausts people.

Excerpted from Jim's fourth bestseller, Growing the Distance: Timeless Principles for Personal, Career, and Family Success. View the book's unique format and content, Introduction and Chapter One, and feedback showing why nearly 100,000 copies are now in print at http://www.growingthedistance.com Jim's new companion book to Growing the Distance is The Leader's Digest: Timeless Principles for Team and Organization Success. Jim Clemmer is an internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop/retreat leader, and management team developer on leadership, change, customer focus, culture, teams, and personal growth. His web site is 2FAhttp://www.clemmer.net/articles

Effective Goal Setting Requires Planning

You'll never accomplish anything in life without paying a cost for it. To build a business will require you to work longer hours in the beginning. You may have to get up early or stay up later. You may have to banish your TV for the next year. If you want to save more money, you may have to quit going out to eat so often. You may have to cut out some of your shopping budget.

If you plan to study and learn new subjects for your personal growth, you may have to turn off the radio station and listen to training CDs on the way to work. Anything you do will cost a price. It may be not as high of a price as you would think, but it will cost you something.

For example, anyone can become an expert in virtually any subject in just onA78e hour a day study over a year to two year period. That is a lot easier than most people would think, but it is still an hour which has to be invested everyday.

Count the cost for your goals or eliminating pain in your life. Make a plan. You should never start a new business without a plan, and you'll never reach your goals without a plan either.

You may want to weigh 30 pounds less than you do right now, but how do you plan to accomplish this? When will you schedule to exercise and what kind of exercise will you do? How will you change your eating habits to cut your daily calories? How can you get your friends or family to help you on this goal?

You can pick up dozens of books at any bookstore on the subject of losing weight. The hidden little secret is that the majority of them work, because you simply need to exercise more and cut the number and type of calories you eat. So you don't have to starve yourself or go on any crazy fad diet. Just make a plan that includes both exercise and healthy eating.

Make your plan by breaking down the goal into elements or steps. What kinds of steps will you have to take to reach your goal? The number of steps you use will be based on how complicated of a goal you have.

If you're starting a new business, you may have dozens of steps to prepare. You need to study the marketplace, visit competitors, do customer research, etc. Then you need to apply for licenses, setup a legal business form such as corporation, and possibly apply for business loans based on a business plan you've written.

If your long-term plan is to build your current business to $1,000,000 a year in net profits, then you may have one year goal and plan for $100,000 increase. For that plan, you may make a list of asking customers why they buy from you, writing new ads, testing your ads, and checking around to find joint venture partners who may be able to offer more items to your current customers.

You can break down these plans into many more steps than what I've listed here. The planning stage should be broken down into easy to accomplish daily and weekly goals. When I said write a new ad above, that could be broken down into individual steps as well.

You may design 3 ads to test, so you first decide on the "offer" for each one...what will make it unique and exciting to your customers. Then you decide on headlines. Then you write the rough draft of one ad. Then you edit it. Then you test it. Then you see if you can improve on it or test out one of the other possible offers you come up with.

The other important element that comes in while making plans is to make deadlines that 5A8are practical. You may want to lose 30 pounds, but doing that in 30 days is not practical. You will not reach that goal and do it in a healthy fashion.

The healthiest way to lose weight is 1 to 2 pounds per week. You hate the extra 30 pounds you're carrying and want to eliminate it in the next 6 months. You can break that down further and say you would like to lose 5 pounds this month. You didn't gain 30 pounds in a month, and you won't be losing it in one month either. So make shorter term goals such as losing 5 pounds per month.

If the most you've ever made in your life is $30,000 per year, then having a goal of making one million this year is not a realistic goal.

Making one million a year 5 years from now isn't that difficult, but you'd be better off setting a goal of $100,000 or so for your business the first year. You then would need to come up with all the steps required for you to reach this.

If it's a brand new business you're starting, there will be a lot of steps involved. Pick up several books that talk about starting new businesses to help you write down all the steps you'll need to take. Then get busy and start taking one step at a time.

One of the key principles here is you want your goals to be something you can really have faith in. You are only limited by what you can believe, but you won't be able to believe with your heart that you're worth the one million dollar income if yo5B3u've only been making $30,000. You're going to have to grow into it. You'll have to build up to the point where you truly believe you're worth that much money.

Most people set their one year goals too high and their 5 year goals too low. You can experience multiplied growth every year of your life, so your goals for 5 years out should be a whole lot bigger than your goals for this year alone. You can build the life you dream about, but you have to be willing to put in both the time and energy required to get there. You have a lot of learning and growing to do.

Look at potential roadblocks which may come up in the pursuit of your goal. What kind of obstacles are likely to come against you? This is part of counting the cost. You may have friends who won't want to be around you anymore. People who are set in their ways and satisfied with mediocre life don't usually accept those who want to strive for excellence. If you want to soar with the eagles, you might not be close friends with the turkeys anymore. You may have opposition from your family.

Terry Dean invites business owners to Earn More, Work Less, and Enjoy Life. Receive his Special report, "10 Key Strategies for Any Business Owner to Earn More, Work Less, and Enjoy Life" along with having access to his blog where he posts articles 2 to 3 times per week at: 2E8http://www.terrydean.org

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Repossession Laws - A Review of the Legality of Self-Help Repossession

State and Federal Courts have long struggled with balancing the interests of debtors and secured creditors when it comes to the issue of self-help repossession. Self-help repossession refers to a creditors seizure of property that is the security interest (or collateral) of a loan. For example, when a bank seizes a persons car because he was delinquent on the car loan, the bank has performed self-help repossession.

Generally speaking, section 9-503 of the Uniform Commercial Code gives a secured creditor the right to take possession of collateral if the debtor falls delinquent on the loan. However, there are some limitations. For example, a creditor cannot repossess collateral if doing so involves a breach of the peace. A breach of peace is somewhat of an ambiguous term, however, the use of physical force to repossess a car for example would be considered unlawful.

Aside from litigation over whether a creditor has breached the peace, there has been a considerable amount of case law on the issue of whether a debtor is entitled to a hearing prior to repossession. The concerns to both parties are significant. The creditor is motivated to take possession of collateral quickly and inexpensively since delay could result in damage to the collateral, depreciation to the collateral, and/or time for an embittered debtor to thwart future repossession attempts. On the other hand, depriving a debtor of property without first being heard poses serious risks to the debtor. Often such surprise tactics leaves debtors without necessary housing or transportation. Further, repossession without a court hearing deprives a debtor without his day in court.

This is a similar argument to the one the plaintiff made in the Supreme Court case of Fuentes v. Shevin. That case involved the issue of whether repossession without judicial intervention violated the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution as a deprivation of property without due process of law. However, the Supreme Court ruled that the Fourteenth Amendment only protects against state action. Since a se551cured creditor is considered a private party, it is immune from those Constitutional provisions. The subsequent case of Flagg Brothers v. Brooks contained a similar decision and creditors rights to self-help repossession have generally been immune against federal attack.

If you are a debtor facing repossession, you may want to be hasty in trying to resolve the issue with a creditor. Do not expect a court hearing first or you may find yourself without transportation.

Ben Moskel is an attorney and a member of the New York State Bar Association. He publishes articles on the issues of car repossession, debt collection, and other debtor creditor issues.

How Hypnosis Can Help You

Hypnosis has long been recognised as an effective means of treatment for a number of psychological conditions. Hypnotherapy can help you to create more confidence for yourself and improve feelings of self worth. You can also learn to overcome problems like the fear of public speaking; phobias like being terrified of traveling on the tube; and become more at ease with yourself by building your confidence and self-esteem.

Typical examples of area where hypnotherapy can help include:

Overcome the fear of public speaking Do you freeze before or during meetings or presentations? Suffering from dry mouth, blushing or sweating? Are you lost for words, desperate to escape? Are you terrified of interviews? Is public speaking anxiety your number one fear? With hypnotherapy you can overcome this anxiety, speak with confidence and feel more comfortable with other people. Come and see how hypnotherapy works with an experienced and confid21C3ent speaker - visit my home page and call or email me today.

Low self esteem and depression Are you depressed or feeling low in self-worth? This is an increasingly serious problem: find out how hypnotherapy can help you create and build up feelings of self worth and self belief. Overcome the hurts of the past and move on towards a more positive and hopeful future. You can move into a better future. Please visit my home page and email me for more information.

Panic attacks Do you ever feel as if you are losing control of yourself in everyday situations? Have you ever been in the grip of frightening physical symptoms, like intense sweating, palpations, nausea, fainting? Hypnotherapy can calm your nerves and get to the root of the problem - reducing or even releasing this terrifying anxiety. Visit my home page for my contact details and ask me how hypnotherapy can help you.

Build confidence Do you want to lift low self-esteem and improve relationships or career prospects? Is lack of self-worth getting you down or holding you back? Find out by calling or emailing me from the home page how hypnotherapy can help you create a more positive YOU.

Fears, phobias & flashbacks Hypnotherapy can be most effective in releasing phobias -amongst the ones I am often asked to treat is the fear of traveling on the tube in London. It can also deal with the effects of trauma, including flashbacks. Modern techniques can substantially reduce or even remove the symptoms in 2/3 sessions. If you are in the grip of any irrational fear then please contact me now. Visit my home page for contact details.

Post traumatic stress Have you have been the victim of a traumatic and frightening event? Then you could be suffering the disabling effects of post traumatic stress. Nowadays there are techniques which have been seen to effectively and safely release the symptoms.

Effective-hypnotherapy is part of the Liverpool Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy (est. 1997). Our fully qualified practitioners provide treatment for a range of emotional issues and some physical ailments, including but not limited to: Self Confidence - Stress - Anxiety - Motivation - Relationship Problems - Anger Management - Panic Attacks - Insomnia. Visit Hypnotherapy Liverpool Merseyside for more information. The website was developed by Web Star Creations (Liverpool Web Design).

Budgeting As Self-Help

Both modern world and its financial system are rather diverse. No wonder so many people are in debt nowadays; they experience hard troubles paying the bills and get notices from creditors. Its clear enough that when you are likely to lose your or your car, you will hardly be able to sleep and even work well. Despite common opinion being in debt does not necessary mean that a person is a loafer and that is the only reason for his getting into bad financial situation. Some debt is actually good. Borrowing money to purchase a home, or to complete your education, is generally considered good debt.

When you found yourself in debt there can be numerous options for you: realistic budgeting, credit counseling from a reputable organization, debt negotiation, debt consolidation, or bankruptcy. The level of your debt as well as your discipline and prospects for the future will determine the option which is the best for you.

Those who have realistic assessment of what they earn and spend and who plan their finances they do take control of the situation. The self-help should start with listing all sources of income. Once you know your fixed expenses you may easily define how much money you may spend and not to occur in debt. Then you should count non-fixed expenses (those that are different each). One can make a mistake when not taking into account such expe5B4nses that seem to be insignificant. If you bring them together and you will be surprised by this essential sum of money. By prioritizing your commitments you can make sure your basic needs are met and then you can decide what else you can afford, and what you may have to save for or do without. Thus, when you know what you earn and spend monthly you may come to conclusion to earn more or to spend less. Its quite easy to say to spend less but not so easy to turn it into reality. At least you can shop around for goods and services that are cheaper.

It goes without saying that budgeting takes time and mathematical skills. Surely, it wont be the best leisure of yours. But if you budget is not eternity, you will have to choose: to work out budget or to get into debts. A personal budget can help you to plan ahead and make the most of your money. You also will need to review your budget regularly, because your circumstances are likely to change.

The information about budgeting and money management techniques can be fount at local public library and bookstores. Moreover, computer software programs can be useful tools for developing and maintaining a budget, balancing your checkbook, and creating plans to save money and pay down your debt.

When it comes to controlling debt, or getting out of debt, there is no remedy for all the financial cases. There is, however, one definite thing that you wont avoid when it4E4 comes to controlling debt and getting out of debt working your personal

Den Braun is an expert in finance. The author is a business writer specializing in finance and credit products and has written authoritative articles on the finance industry. Den Braun writes about Debt settlement & debt negotiation and other related topics on the debt-settlement website. To learn more about debt and finances in general, visit http://www.debt-help-center.net

You Can Gain Self Confidence

You can gain self confidence by just making yourself feel better about yourself. I know this is sounds easy, however most people are their own worst enemies. People are harder on themselves than other people. They tend to be a very difficult judge towards themselves. When things are not going the way they would like it to be; you tend to bash yourself with negative affirmations.

If you have been on a diet attempting to lose weight, and you fall off the diet if you notice you will bash yourself with negative thoughts and self talk.

What you can to to help you gain self confidence is to realize that you are human and you are entitled to making mistakes. As long as you learn from your mistakes and get back on the track towards your goals, there is nothing wrong with falling off your diet or anything else you desire. Begin at once to visualize yourself with whatever it is you desire. As you do this begin feeling the feelings of yourself looking the way you want. When you do this on a daily basis you will begin to gain self confidence, and you will build your self esteem.

Another thing you can do to gain self confidence is to quit criticizing yourself. Begin reading positive books that empower you. People change the way they feel about themselves everyday just by using a few simple techniques to focus their mind on what they really wish to experience and what matters to them to help make them feel good. You can post positive affirmations throughout the house that you can use everyday to help you gain self confidence. As you continue to do this on a daily basis you will influence your subconscious mind; and you will begin 1C70becoming that person.

Utilize several affirmations such as I am a great person, I look great, I feel wonderful, I am healthy, I am fitting in new pants size?, anything that makes you feel better about yourself as long as it is positive will help you gain self esteem and feel great.

It may seem extremely difficult from where you are sitting right now, but believe me it is a lot easier to feel great about yourself than to constantly think negatively. Plus it will help you get a lot further in life; just by being positive. As a matter of fact if you are negative throughout your life you can not experience anything positive. We always get what we focus on; so begin today to focus on the positive things in your life and begin being grateful for everything in your life and you will begin experiencing more of what you want.

You can gain self confidence by just applying these techniques everyday. It will not only build your self confidence but you will understand that you can be do have anything you set your mind to. You are the creator of your life and you must realize that in order for you to begin creating the life of your dreams.

Get all your free tips on the importance to personal development and receive free techniques to utilize as meditation, visualization and lots of other wealth generating techniques Plus sign up for the free Powerful Living Newsletter.

Spiritual Movies

Self Improvement Videos: Quality Tube Time Or Popcorn Chasers?

Before you spend another dime purchasing the latest self improvement video release, take a moment to read the following article. Within it, you will find several tips to help you get the most value out of the money and time you invest. Self improvement videos can be worth their weight in gold, but only if you extract all you can from them. Here's how.

Plan a good time and place to watch the video. Just as you wouldn't attend a class or lecture with screaming children or a nagging spouse, the time and place you choose to watch your video should also be free of distractions. A quiet time in a private room with the understanding that you are to be left alone will allow you to concentrate on the information in the video.

Make watching the video an active experience. Most of the time when we watch TV, we just sit there and passively observe the screen. This does not encourage retention of the information. If you really want to learn and absorb self-improvement information, be sure to keep a notebook and pen handy and take notes during the video. Also be sure to write down any new ideas or questions that occur as you are watching.

Review. After watching the video for the first time, read through your notes. Review in your mind the information and ideas that were presented. Tell yourself outloud some of the things you learned. As you do this, be sure and keep track of any new ideas or questions that you think of.

Rewatch. Now, sit back and watch the tape or dvd again. This time you'll not only discover information you missed the first time, but you'll also find answers to some of your questions and even a few more self-improvement ideas.

Apply. Don't let your new knowledge go to waste. If there were practical excercises and good ideas introduced in the video, start putting them into action right away. This will help you to quickly make these new skills second nature and speed up your journey.

Remember, your path of self improvement is a really a course in "You 101". Treat watching self improvement videos like a class and you will be more likely to graduate with honors.

James B. Allen is the goal-oriented webmonk behind PowerLivingPress.com. Before you rent or purchase yet another self improvement video, stop by his site. It's packed with free articles, tips and resources to help you become a better person - starting today!

Teen Spiritual Movies

Monday, July 14, 2008

How to Will Yourself to Success

One challenge of the human condition is gathering the strength and courage to break through the barriers we erect which keep us from confronting personal problems and challenges. It seems that avoidance and fear are the twin killers to personal progress. Why is it that some of us can motivate ourselves to accomplish everyday tasks and set long-term goals? Why is it that others of us often avoid, procrastinate, and waste valuable time agonizing about our inability to carry out self-rewarding behaviors?

The implication of willing ourselves to success affects every aspect of our life. Some of us desire to lose weight, change jobs, exercise, make new frien5B4ds, or learn new skills, but create resistance affecting our chances for a positive outcome. Why do we choose the road of self-defeating behavior even though we know that a different course of action will bring us to our desired goals and a sense of fulfillment?

The will to act must be greater than the power to resist. In other words, the urge to accomplish a task or goal must create an inner momentum until its force becomes irresistible. For some, this means a mounting cascade of frustration and anger, or a sense of being fed-up with the status-quo. The constructive passion to achieve drowns out the inner voice of inertia. Often, people tell me that an inner voice keeps hounding them until the clamoring sounds of change are strong enough to break the impasse.

Often people will resist the road to change because of a pattern of prior failure. They might say, Ive tried that route and it didnt work. They may view the motivation to change as an either/or process. Either Im 100% successful or Im a total louse. They may overlook the subtle changes that are necessary to complete a task. Established goals may be unrealistic and set the stage for failure. An additional obstacle may pop up when one starts down the road of progress and faces a period of regression. The back-sliding may be viewed as a monumental setback rather than a part of the growth process and may lead one to completely give up on5B4 a new endeavor.

Those who are unmotivated tend to harbor self-blame. They will blame themselves for their inability to change or will chastise themselves for any behavioral setback. With a mind-set of victim-posturing, the unmotivated individual will say, Its no use; no matter how hard I try, I will always come up short; its just my nature. Self-blame becomes an excuse for not trying. The self-centered focus is on personal failure rather than the impetus to move forward in spite of failure.

Often people remain unmotivated because they fear success. Those who contemplate losing weight might say, What if I lost weight and start to look more attractive? How would that affect the way others view me? My friend might want to date me and I dont know if I am ready for that! The fear of success often keeps one tied to the safety-net of the past.

The foundation for willing oneself to success begins with the process of setting goals. An individual must start with identifying what he really wants and needs. must be reframed to reflect a positive way of perceiving events. A friend who was unhappy with her life once told me, I know that I am withdrawing from people and I believe that it is bad for me. What she really needed to say is, I need to feel connected to other people; I want to find a way to make that happen. How we frame our thinking helps us to determine ways in which we will a5B4ct on them.

It is very difficult to move forward when you dont know where you are going. Setting realistic goals is essential to increasing our self-motivation. Goals need to be identified and chunked down into smaller steps. This makes getting motivated less overwhelming and easier to manage.

Giving yourself permission is an important ingredient to creating motivation. Often, people lack a sense of inner permission because they have relied on others to lead their lives. The fact that they have depended on others to direct their life makes them feel incompetent and thwarts forward-moving change.

Fully functioning people dont wait, they dont procrastinate, but they act. Life is too short. The fear of passing time may give us a sense of urgency about changing our life and making things right. Such a feeling of urgency may create the conditions necessary for changing the quality of our character and behavior. We dont have forever to will ourselves to success. Today is the day to redeem that which we have put on hold.

James P Krehbiel, Ed.S., LPC, CCBT is an author, a freelance writer and cognitive-behavioral therapist practicing in Scottsdale, Arizona. He can be reached through his website at http://www.krehbielcounseling.2B3com.

Friday, July 11, 2008

The Motivation Myth

"It is the ultimate management conceit that we can motivate people." Peter Scholtes, team effectiveness consultant and author

After six years at Universal Pictures, Harry Cohn formed Columbia Pictures in 1924. During the following decades he ran the company with an iron fist. His image as a tyrant was reinforced by the riding whip he kept near his desk to crack for emphasis. Cohn form of "motivation" led to the greatest creative turnover of any major studio. At his funeral in 1958, one observer suggested that the thirteen hundred attendees "had not come to bid farewell, but to make sure he was actually dead."

Some parents want their kids to be independent as long as they do everything they're told to. Some team leaders want their teams to be empowered as long as they follow directions. What some "leaders", call "motivation" is getting others to carry out their orders. Some seem to live by the philosophy that if I want any of your bright ideas I'll give them to you. Just do what you're told...and look like you're enjoying it. These forms of "motivation" are based on fear and force. If the punishment is strong enough and the policing rigid enough, they will lead to compliance. People will follow the rules and marching orders. But that's all. Energy, creativity, and extra effort will be minimal. So will ownership and commitment. The only passion tyrants and autocrats create are fear, loathing, and the desire for revenge.

The key problems of the Motivation Myth are clearly illustrated by a Farcus cartoon; a team leader is at the head of a conference table addressing her team with these words, "we need to improve morale, any of you boneheads have a good idea." The main cause of the problem seems pretty obvious. She just needs to look in the mirror. But obviously the obvious isn't always so obvious. Root causes and symptoms are continuously confused. The Farcus team leader is treating low morale as a problem to be solved rather than an indicator of much deeper issues. Clearly a key source of a deeper problem is her contempt for her team and her forcefulness. Her approach is like an auto mechanic reporting, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

Many of the symptoms and root causes of motivation and morale can be clarified by understanding the doing versus being aspects of mobilizing and energizing. We need to get beyond "do to" programs and techniques. The big sticks of fear, punishments, and discipline or the carrots of incentives and rewards may work in the short term. But to keep them working, we need to continually increase the beatings or sweeten and vary the incentives. Eventually the beatings will burn people out and they will quit. Some will leave and find other jobs. Many will silently resign and continue to report for work everyday.

People should be fairly rewarded for their contributions. The absence of money can be demotivating, but its presence doesn't provide healthy, long-term motivation. Using money or types of incentives to get increased performance turns people into selfish, self-centered mercenaries who are increasingly tuned into WIFM (what's-in-it-for-me). Pride, teamwork, concern for customers, shared values, growing and developing, passion, meaningful work, and the like fade. These become hollow words that raise "the snicker factor" whenever they are heard.

Effective mobilizing and energizing goes well beyond "doing" programs to the "being" or culture of a team, organization, or any group including a family. That culture is a set of shared attitudes and accumulated habits around "the way we do things here." The culture provides the context or backdrop that either energizes or exhausts people.

Excerpted from Jim's fourth bestseller, Growing the Distance: Timeless Principles for Personal, Career, and Family Success. View the book's unique format and content, Introduction and Chapter One, and feedback showing why nearly 100,000 copies are now in print at http://www.growingthedistance.com Jim's new companion book to Growing the Distance is The Leader's Digest: Timeless Principles for Team and Organization Success. Jim Clemmer is an internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop/retreat leader, and management team developer on leadership, change, customer focus, culture, teams, and personal growth. His web site is http://www.clemmer.net/articles

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Best Yoga Mat

The best yoga mat for you will depend on what types of yoga you practise. Different types of yoga have different requirements and this is reflected in the type of mat to use.

The Best Yoga Mat For Hatha Yoga

Hatha yoga practitioners generally prefer using sticky yoga mats. The sticky mats will help with the more difficult postures and forms, giving you traction to the mat.

Sticky yoga mats are available in many different patterns and colors. As these are fairly standard mats, you can find them in most yoga studios, sporting goods store or various stores online - from normal online stores to auction sites like Ebay. However, don't always buy the cheapest one you can find - remember, you get what you paid for.

The Best Yoga Mat For Ashtanga Yoga

Ashtanga yoga (sometimes called power yoga) is a vigorous form of yoga, so you will want to buy a mat with good padding and durability, much more than the mats for Hatha yoga. If you are a serious practitioner, then you might want to spend a bit of extra money and get one of the best yoga mats, like the Manduka black yoga mat.

If you don't want to pay extra, look for a standard yoga mat with a thickness of at least 4mm. Some Ashtanga yoga practitioners prefer to use a rug instead of a mat, as the rug absorbs perspiration better than the mat. This is quite important for a more active type of yoga, as it will reduce the chances of you slipping.

The Best Yoga Mat For Senior Citizens

Generally senior citizens prefer thicker yoga mats to help cushion their joints or spine and prevent injury. This is especially important if you have joint problems. A good thickness will be 6mm or above, which are widely available at sporting goods stores and online.

The Best Yoga Mat For Children

Luckily mats for children will not break the bank, as they can use regular sticky yoga mats. However, most children will want a mat with a certain motif on it. These more colorful yoga mats are a little more expensive, but will certainly get children more excited abo59Aut yoga.

There are various stores selling yoga mats with children themes on them, but your best bet is to search online for the motif your child wants.

The Best Yoga Mat For Environmentalists

Normal yoga mats use polyvinyl chloride (PVC) in the mats, which has been linked to different types of cancer and also cannot be recycled. Therefore worn out mats need to go to a landfill, where it will take years to break down.

If you are worried about polyvinyl chloride (PVC) in your mat, there are various other more environmentally friendly options. You can, for instance, go for an eco-Yoga mat or an Earth Elements mat. There are a lot of natural fibre mats on the market, so all you need to do is choose one.

For more information on sticky yoga mats or any other yoga information, visit http://www.getyogainfo.com

Predictions for Yoga in 2008

As we begin the New Year, it's time once again to follow in Nostradamus's footsteps and play the game we've been playing for centuries: predicting what the future will hold. This year I'm taking a stab at yoga predictions-forecasting what's going to happen in this field for 2008 and beyond.

My predictions don't come from staring into a crystal ball or reading organic tea leaves. I came to these conclusions after reading and researching industry data, interviewing industry experts-including Ila Sarley, president of Kripalu Center, and John Kepner, executive director of the International Association of Yoga Therapists-and observing from my viewpoint as both a yoga teacher and a consultant in the wellness industry.

As you read my forecasts, see if they ring true for you. If yes, consider if and how you are positioning your business in response to what the future may bring.

1. Yoga's cup will overflow as growth continues. More teachers becoming certified and more venues offering yoga equals more competition between teachers and studios. In response to yoga's increasing availability and the wide variety of yoga options, consolidation and specialization will occur, with big players getting bigger and solo practitioners cultivating specialized niches.

2. You'll need to stand out to stay in. The yoga professionals who differentiate themselves with an approach or style that stands out will have a distinct advantage. While ten years ago people asked, "What is yoga?," the question now is "How is this yoga different from all other yogas?"

3. Yoga will be on the move. Yoga will continue to migrate into new territory beyond the standard studio or gym. Think yoga at your desk, for specific populations, or at out-of-the-box locations.

4. Yoga will step out of the waiting room and into the doctor's office. Yoga will continue to make headway in the health-care establishment as it becomes more and more widely accepted as a complementary alternative medicine. As this migration occurs, more structure will be needed, including peer-reviewed research studies to measure the efficiency for standardized protocols of yoga care.

5. Yoga will take up permanent residence on Madison Avenue. Companies looking to associate their products or services with a wellness lifestyle-even if it has nothing to do with wellness-will turn to yoga imagery. A sexy yogini sipping a glass of wine while sitting in lotus position on the hood of a car is not out of the question.

6. Asia will be the next growth market for yoga. More teachers will answer the call to bring yoga to Hong Kong, and you'll see more Asians attending yoga conferences and teacher trai5B4ning programs in the United States.

7. You'll want to think lifestyle, not just asana. Yoga's growth is part of a bigger wellness trend. Those who want to capitalize on this broader trend will add more ancillary services-such as nutritional programs, exercise routines, spa services, and wellness consultations-to their yoga offerings.

8. You'll see more yoga in cyberspace. Convenience is always an advantage in our busy lives. That's why yoga is moving out of the studio (see prediction number three) and that's why you'll see more options in the coming year for virtual yoga classes online.

9. Next-level training services for yoga and wellness professionals will be on the rise. With the overall growth of the wellness industry, new training programs to support practitioners will be in demand, including advanced professional development and business training.

10. Yoga will continue to touch and transform your life and the lives of your students in 2008. Happy New Year!

For more information about Yoga's Evolution in America's Wellness Revolution, go to http://www.mindfulmarketing.net/evolution.htm

Megan McDonough helps you get clear so you can get positive results. Along with teaching yoga, she's the award-winning author of Infin2AEity in a Box, a marketing consultant for mind/body organizations including Kripalu Center, and a corporate trainer to companies such as the American Cancer Society.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Your Words And Thoughts Have Power

Even though they might seem relatively innocuous, our words and thoughts do, indeed, have a lot of power and in fact determine what our own reality is.

We are not the first to recognize this fact. In fact, wise people throughout the ages have seen just how prevalent this is. For example, William Blake, the poet, said, "We become what we behold." The Buddha himself said, "With our thoughts we make our world." These are just two of the wise minds that have seen this process evidence in action.

What words to use, then, that can create this kind of power?

Let's take the often used phrase, "Yes, but." In effect, what you are doing is trying to overcome someone else's opinion by suppressing it. In effect, what you have just done is completely discounted their opinion with the word "but." If you are someone who5B3 does this often (or even occasionally), it really blocks you from being able to communicate effectively with other people, and is also not particularly fair to that person. If you would not use this, you could simply acknowledge the other person's point of view and send the message that although you might not agree with the other person's point of view, you still allow the other person his or her full power. In other words, you don't want to disempower anyone else even if you disagree with his or her idea.

You can overcome this by saying, "Yes, and" instead of, "Yes, but." The word "and" is inclusive, and allows for both opinions to be present and equally valid. It also allows for much more open communication to flow, instead of blocking it.

Your self-talk, too, can be either and powering or disempowering. For example, do you say to yourself a lot of the time that you "must" or "have to" do something? This indicates that you think you have no choice in the matter, when, of course, you do. This type of self-talk disempowers you. If you listen to others talk, you sometimes also can sense this feeling of disempowerment in them.

If you want to change this self talk so that you realize you have a choice in the matter and thus to empower yourself, first, keep track of how often you say the words "should" or "must." These usually instill feelings of guilt or obligation, and thus some this empowerment to a least some extent.5B2

Other more general words that also hinder communication are "never," "forever," and "always." First of all, it is rarely true that something is "always" or "never" true. There are almost always exceptions. Therefore, if you or someone else is using the words "never" or "always," you are generalizing and not truly handling the matter at hand in reality. For better communication, avoid this type of generalization when you speak with someone.

Another word it's usually good to avoid if you can is "try." Of course, if you don't know whether or not you can do something, then you are going to "try" to do something. You won't know whether you can are or not until you try something if you haven't attempted it before. However, for communication situations, it's usually best to avoid this word because if you say you are going to "try" to get a task done for someone, you are not committing yourself to it. Therefore, you should say you either can or cannot do it. By stating whether or not you can firmly, you commit yourself to an answer one way or the other.

The more careful you are with the words and phrases used, the better your communication can be. You'll find that just a little attention to these areas will greatly enhance your communications with others and may even transform your relationships in general. Watch and see what happens. You just might be amazed.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Stop Eating C.R.A.P. - The American Diet Is Filled With It

The American diet is full of C.R.A.P. (Caffeinated, Refined, Artificial, and Processed) Foods. We need to be more mindful of what we put into our bodies. We also need to be mindful of the internal pollution we put into our minds. The mind-Body connection tells us that all thoughts produce neurological and immunologic (Bio-Chemical) Changes. Begin to eat for your health; Eat for your metabolic type, be present with each mouthful, chew food to liquid and change your thoughts to practice positivity while eating. We are how we eat. If we eat in a stressed, rushed manner we are creating more of the same in our lives. When we begin to eat in a calm, meaningful and relaxed manner we become more of the same. Be very careful not to eat in anger as this can cause the same in the intestinal tract. An angry meal leads to an angry stomach, all of which can result in bringing the body into dis-ease. Stay away from the three white devils ( white flour, white rice and white sugar). Eat for peace not for stress.

STRESS leads to a metabolic imbalance as well as an energetic imbalance. There are 5 types of Stress (information provided by the C.H.E.K. Institute)

1. Psychic (spiritual, mental, emotional) 2. Nutritional (insufficient quantity or quality) 3. Chemical (toxic substances, non-nutritional dietary excesses) 4. Physical (postural, structural, traumatic, degenerative, thermal) 5. Electro-Magnetic (x-ray, microwave, geomagnetic, cosmic, etc.)

We must all learn to use UN-STRESS strategies to help keep us healthy:

Meditation, Visualization, Prayer, Yoga, Breathing, Tai chi, Budokon, stretching, hobbies, nature walks etc. These strategies serve to enhance the quality of our lives.

We also need to remember that every emotion is connected with a thought and vice versa- so emotional release therapy is important. Think of this as an emotional Detox. Just as it is important to detox the body, it is equally important to detox the mind.

We also need external help through: REIKI, ROLFING, WATSU, Chakra Balancing etc. We must take care of our bodies and mind- we can manage stress more effectively when we are fed well, well rested, well exercised and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Provide for your spiritual needs: The human body functions much best with attitudes of love, gratitude, forgiveness and humbleness.

Your health and stress level are extremely vital to each other. Your health should be the number one priority in your life. Release stress and get on with your path to live a healthy life! Purchase a great meditation CD at http://www.angelhealthinc.com/meditation.html">http://www.angelhealthinc.com/meditation.html

Marti Angel, MA "America's Health and Expert Lifestyle Coach" is a Certified Holistic Nutritionist, Yoga Professor, RYT, Certified Meditation Instructor, Certified Metabolic Typing Advisor (Health Excel, Inc), Nutraceutical Consultant, Certified Health/Lifestyle Coach, motivational speaker and founder of the number one alternative therapies site on the web http://www.angelhealthinc.com/

Easiest And Most Effective Methods

Aromatherapy for stress relief offers methods that fit easily into your daily life. Whether in the bath, air or on the skin, aromatherapy is highly effective at relieving tension, anxiety and fatigue. If you are searching for an inexpensive, simple way to deal with stress, give this natural remedy a try.

What is aromatherapy? It is a natural healing technique of using essential oils to ease health conditions. Essential oils are directly extracted from flowers and plants. The use of plant-based oils for healing is over 1,000 years old. When inhaled, the scents of the extracted oils affect the limbic system in the brain.

The limbic system influences the autonomic nervous system as well as emotions and behaviour. Inhaling certain scents can calm and balance our emotions and behaviour. Take advantage of aromatherapy for stress relief. It is a powerful mB67ethod of producing relaxation and rejuvenation.

There are many ways to use aromatherapy for stress relief. Using the essential oils in the bath, air and on the skin are the easiest. The oils are readily available and range from $5.00 to $30.00 for the most popular ones. They can be found mostly at health food stores and online. Try these methods and feel your stress melt away.

In the bath - The most pleasurable way to experience the effects of essential oils is in the bath. After pouring a warm bath add about six drops of a soothing oil such as lavender, lemmongrass or pine. The warm water will activate the healing scent of the oil. Bath products containing essential oils are now widely available. However they may not be as effective as using the pure oils.

In the air - This is a popular way of using aromatherapy for stress relief. Using diffusers, aroma lamps and inhalers are the many products available to fill the air with therapeutic scents. You may want to try putting a few drops of oil on a light bulb before you turn it on. The warmth of the light bulb will activate the scent. A quick method is putting a few drops on a tissue or cotton ball. Take a few whiffs to instantly relax, revitalize and recoup.

On the skin - Using the skin for aromatherapy serves many purposes in addition to relieving stress. Massaging tense muscles and joints, revving up circulation and improving skin health are but a few benefits. Essential oils always require a carrier oil to be put on the skin. Carrier oils such as sweet almond, avocado or grapeseed work well. Use approximately 6-8 drops essential oil to 20 ml carrier oil. You can even purchase a rub containing relaxing essential oils to use in times of stress. Just massage the rub into your temples, wrists or chest to calm your nerves instantly.

Using these methods of aromatherapy for stress relief are pleasant yet powerful. Feeling the soothing and rejuvenating effects of essential oils may lead you to use them for other ailments. A healing method that has been used for over 1,000 years must be effective.

To receive a valuable free report and newsletter click here: Free Report

Learn more about using essential oils to relieve stress by clicking here: Aromatherapy for Stress Relief

Discover which herbs will help you relieve stress at: Herbs for Stress Relief

Caroline Selfe has been a passionate seeker of natural and holistic stress relief methods for the past 25 years.208

15 Muscle Building Rules for Skinny Guys and Gals!

WHY CAN'T YOU GAIN WEIGHT?

Though there may be many reasons why you may be thin, the most apparent reason is because of your genetics. If your parents are naturally thin or have a small body frame, then you will most likely have the same small body type.

To some degree, your size can also be controlled by your metabolism. If you have a difficult time gaining weight of any kind (fat or muscle) then you most likely have a fast metabolism. That simply means that your body burns calories at a faster than normal rate. You must take this into account whenever you are considering a particular diet or training program. Is it geared towards someone with your metabolism and goal?

Now as you know, there are many ways to train. Hundreds, thousands even. Some work and some do not, but for the specific goal of gaining weight, there are a few UNIVERSAL things that all skinny guys must do.

Though much of the information I cover here is not as "magical" as you may like, I consider these rules to be the basics with regard to weight gain. These are not all of the answers, but they are definite elements that MUST be addressed in any successful weight gain program.

You should be able to easily integrate these rules into your current program to make it more suitable for your particular body and goals.

GENERAL RULES

1.Get the proper information that pertains to your SPECIFIC condition and goals.

The first big problem I find in most people is the lack of correct information. Yes you are motivated and doing things, but your effort is wasted on incorrect dieting and training information. Basically, skinny guys are taking advice from people who have never had a weight gain problem. Want to know how to gain weight? Then find someone who has walked your shoes. Someone who has been where you are.

2.Set a specific goal and create a plan of attack.

If you were to drive cross country to another city, would you just start driving randomly, or would you plan a route that would get you quickly and efficiently?

Think of your plan as a road map and your goal as your destination. Without a plan and a specific goal you will be without focus and can easily get lost or side tracked. This happens more often than you know. I see many people in the gym just doing whatever, or just eating whatever -- no plan or specific goal. They wonder why they don't make progress. They have no focus.

Having a specific program to follow allows you to take action each day. This action is focused on specifically getting you to your destination quickly. There is no thinking, debating or guessing. You just do it. A specific plan provides necessary daily structure that not only keeps you on the road moving forward, it also helps to develop good eating and training habits that will benefit you long after you have reached your destination.

3.Have confidence in yourself and belief in what you are doing.

Lets face it; we live in a cruel world. Hate and jealously is everywhere. For most people who begin a fitness program to improve themselves, getting started will be half the battle. The other half will be staying motivated throughout the constant onslaught of negativity from others. A few negative words can do serious damage if you allow it.

The most insulting things you hear may be from friends, co-workers and acquaintances at the gym. People hate change. It makes them insecure, because they suddenly discover theres more to you than they were probably willing to admit. They fear that you may actually achieve your goal. It makes them look less superior.

Once you have begun your plan, you must have faith and believe in what you are doing. Stay focused and avoid overly critical or negative people. If you have to, keep your business to yourself. When I first began my program, I stopped talking about what I was doing because I got tired of hearing things like you cant do that, thats impossible, youre wasting your time and money. Funny thing is, now those people are constantly bugging me for advice.

Its your life. Its your body. Its your dream. Dont allow your success or failure to rest in the hands of others.

WORKOUT RULES

4. Stop listening to every ridiculous piece of advice you hear in the gym or read on a message board.

Recently a client of mine informed me that someone in the gym stated that he was training all wrong and he needed to train 5-6 days a week, and aim for more reps during his workout. Somewhere in the range of 15-20 reps per set.

The person giving the advice was quite confident about his recommendations, and he had an impressive physique that typically elevates him to the elusive "listen to me if you want to look like me" level in the gym. He was bigger than my client, so even though my client's "intellectual" mind knows that advice is absurd; his "unrealistic dreamer" mind took this information very seriously. So seriously that he changed his program and didn't inform me until a week or so later. This particular person had been making great progress on his current program, yet he allowed this one persons comment to overshadow that progress and convince him that his program was inadequate. This is a mistake and it showed in his lack of further progress.

In addition, don't judge the validity of what a person says by how they look. Just because the guy is huge doesn't mean he is spewing pertinent advice for you. Many people that have big physiques are big despite of their training, not because of it. I know some huge guys that know very little about training and dieting correctly. They can do whatever and still gain muscle; unfortunately we are not that way, so we much approach things in a more intelligent way.

5.Workout Infrequently

This is the most difficult concept for many to grasp simply because it involves less action, instead of more. When we get motivated and start a new program, its natural to want to do something. We want to train and train and train. Thinking all along that the more you train, the more muscle you will build. Unfortunately, this could not be farther from the truth.

More training does not equal more muscle growth. Understand that the purpose of weight training is to stimulate muscle growth. That takes very little time. Once that has been done, the muscle needs to be repaired and new muscle needs to be built. That only happens when you are resting. You do not build muscle in the gym, you build muscle when resting! If you never give your body any essential non active time, when will it have a chance to build muscle? Think about that.

Now, add in the fact that you have a difficult time gaining weight and the importance of rest increases. Individuals who are naturally thin and have difficulty building muscle tend to require less training and more rest.

6. Focus on Multi-Jointed Lifts

Multi-jointed exercises are those that stimulate the most amounts of muscle fibers. Unlike isolation exercises which only work individual muscles, multi-jointed lifts work many different muscle groups simultaneously. For those needing to gain weight, this is ideal because these lifts put your body under the most amount of stress. This is the stress that will shock your nervous system and cause the greatest release of muscle building hormones. This results in increased muscle gain all over the body.

You can still do some isolation work; however it should not be the focus of your workouts, and should only come after your multi-jointed lifting is complete.

7. Focus on Using Free Weights

Free weights are preferred over machines for many reasons, but most importantly because they allow the stimulation of certain supporting muscle groups when training. Stimulating these stabilizer and synergistic muscles will allow you go get stronger, and ultimately build more muscle faster. Yes, some can most likely still build large amounts of muscle using machines, but why make it more difficult if you already have a difficult time gaining weight?

8. Lift a weight that is challenging for you

Building mass involves lifting relatively heavy weight. This is necessary because the muscle fibers that cause the most amount of muscle size growth (called Type IIB) are best stimulated by the lifting of heavy weight. A heavy weight as one that only allows you to perform 4-8 reps before your muscles fail.

Using a lighter weight and doing more reps can stimulate some Type IIB fibers, but again if you have a difficult time gaining weight, why make it more difficult? You need to try and stimulate as many as you can with the use of heavy weights.

9. Focus more on the eccentric portion of the exercise.

When you lift a weight, it can be divided into three distinct periods. The positive, the negative and midpoint. The concentric or positive motion usually involves the initial push or effort when you begin the rep. The midpoint is signaled by a short pause before reversing and returning to the starting position. The eccentric, or negative portion of each lift is characterized by your resistance against then natural pull of the weight.

For example, when doing push-ups, the positive motion is the actual pushing up motion. Once you have pushed all the way up, you hit the mid point. The negative motion begins when you start to lower yourself back down. Most would simply lower themselves as fast as they pushed up, but I recommend extending and slowing down this portion. Slowing down the eccentric part of the lift will help to stimulate more muscle growth. It actually activates more of the Type IIB fibers mentioned about in Rule 7.

10. Keep your workout short but intense.

Your goal should be to get in, stimulate your muscles and then get out as quickly as possible. It is not necessary to do large amounts of exercisers per body part trying to target every muscle and hit every angle. This should only be a concern of someone with an already developed, mature physique who is trying to improve weak areas.

If you have no pec, dont concern yourself with trying to target inner, outer, upper, lower or whatever. Just work your chest. You should do no more than 2-3 exercises per body part. Thats it. Doing more than that wont build more muscle, faster. In fact it could possibly lead to muscle loss. Long training sessions cause catabolic hormone levels to rise dramatically. Catabolic hormones are responsible for breaking down muscle tissue resulting in MUSCLE LOSS. While at the same time, long training sessions suppress the hormones that actually build muscle.

If you dont want to lose muscle during your workouts, I suggest limiting your sessions to no more than 60-75 minutes MAXIMUM. Less if you can.

11. Limit your aerobic activity and training

Honestly, I do not do any aerobic activity when I am trying to gain weight. This is mainly because it interferes with the important non-active time my body needs for muscle building and recovery. I do understand that people have lives and other activities that they don't want to give up, so it must be kept to a minimum. It wont hurt your progress as long as you dont over do it. If you find that you are doing more aerobic activity weight training, thats overdoing it.

I also dont recommend it because people tend do it for the wrong reasons. Many start aerobic activity because they believe it will help them to lose fat. While that is true, it wont do so on a high calorie mass diet. To lose fat, you need to be eating fewer calories.

12. Dont program hop

Heres how it usually happens. Youve just read about a new exercise or workout that is supposed to pack on the mass. Now, even though you had already started another training program a few weeks ago, you are tired of it and really want to start this routine instead because it sounds better.

I call these people, program hoppers. They are very enthusiastic when starting a new program, but they never follow it long enough to actually see any results. They are easily distracted and love to drop whatever they may be doing to follow the latest "hot" workout or exercise.

My advice is dont do it. This is a bad habit that never leads to a positive outcome. Understand that it takes time for any program to work. To be successful, you must follow your program consistently. Yes, there are many different training methods and interesting routines out there, but you cant do them all at the same time and jumping around wont allow enough time for any of them to actually be effective for you. Pick one that is focused on your current goal and stick with it. There will be plenty of time to try the others later, but NOT NOW.

EATING RULES

13. Eat more

This rule is pretty simple, but usually the one that is not done correctly. If weight gain is your goal, then you will need to eat more food. Period. In most cases, you will need to eat more than you are normally accustomed to.

One large problem that I had when starting out is I just had no appetite. I knew I needed to eat more, but I just did not want to. I had to force myself to eat at each meal. Thankfully, after about 2 weeks, my appetite grew. I was becoming hungry before each meal, and if I didn't eat my meal at the normal time, my body knew it.

If you have this problem, you still must eat something, no matter how much. Start off making yourself eat something small like fruit every few hours. Then, as your appetite becomes more active, gradually move into more real food.

What this will do is gradually get your body accustomed eating at regular intervals. Eventually you will be hungry before each meal time.

When eating more, you will need to make sure that you are getting plenty of good quality protein. Protein is a nutrient that is essential for building muscle. Every meal that you eat should contain some form of protein. Meal Replacement Powders like Myoplex are excellent for this purpose. They enable you to eat large amounts of good quality protein in a very convenient manner.

14. Eat more often

In addition to eating more calories, you should also strive to eat more often throughout the day. Eating infrequently, or going long periods without eating, will cause your body to breakdown muscle tissue for the calories it needs. This is especially true for those with fast metabolisms.

Spreading your meals throughout the day will give you more manageable meal sizes, improve nutrient assimilation, and make sure that your body always has the calories it needs for muscle building and repair. I recommend eating a high protein meal every 3 hours. During normal waking hours, that usually equals about 6 meals.

Now, I know what you are saying, Im too busy to do this, or how can I do that with a full time job and school? Dont let the thought of this being too difficult keep you from doing it. It may seem very inconvenient at first, but once you get in the habit of doing it, it becomes second nature and you dont have to give it much thought. Trust me, Ive been doing it for years and do not feel that its limiting or time consuming.

15. Use Nutritional Supplements.

Before you buy any product, remember that supplements are not magic. Too many people think that just because you buy the latest product, it guarantees that you will automatically begin to pack on the pounds. The truth is that supplements are only there to enhance an already solid diet and workout program.

They can give you the extra edge by:

* Adding More Convenience: Using food supplements like Myoplex or Designer Protein help to eliminate the common problem of 'not enough time', by providing you with a quick, efficient way to get your required nutrients each day. They make eating large amounts of calories and protein easier for people with low appetites.

* Increasing Strength Levels: Products that contain Creatine, like Phosphagen HP or Cell-Tech enable you to swing the odds of gaining more weight in your favor by increasing your strength output. Creatine enables you to lift heavier weights, which will stimulate more muscle fibers and cause more muscle growth.

* Decreasing Recovery Time: Vitamin C is essential to prevent free radical damage, which is accelerated after the heavy trauma of weight training. It is also essential is helping to repair connective tissue. All of this helps decrease the amount of time you are sore.

* Enhancing Your Immune System: Weight training increases the body's need for many minerals like magnesium and selenium. I always use a good multi-vitamin ensures that I am not deficient in any major essential vitamin or mineral. Deficiency symptoms include muscle weakness and suppression of the immune system, muscle cramping and fatigue.

I can honestly say that I could not have built the body I have today without the convenience and enhancements supplements provide. I simply don't have the time or desire to do it any other way. This is a choice that you must decide for yourself. You will be spending your money on these products, so make sure that you know their place in your program.

IS THIS POSSIBLE?

Yes, but I have to be honest and say that from my experience, gaining weight is much more difficult than losing fat. Even if you are doing everything right, it will still be difficult because you are fighting against what your body naturally prefers. If you are naturally thin, building an impressive physique involves persistence and determination, but no matter what anyone says, it is well within your ability. Good luck and for more information on how to gain weight, be sure to check out my website at http://www.fastmusclegain.com

Former "skinny guy" Anthony Ellis is the author of Gaining Mass. The most widely used weight gain program in the world. This unique program designed to help people gain weight and build muscle, is currently being used in over 90 countries. For more information on how to gain weight and build muscle, check out his website at http://www.fastmusclegain.com

Weight Training Workouts - Two Effective Exercises For Building Lean Muscle Mass

When the squat is properly performed, it can be a very anabolic exercise. Yet squats are frequently done with less than ideal technique, resulting in submaximal gains. The most frequent error is to place unnecessary strain on the lower back by leaning forward during the movement. When you descend into the squat position, your back should be perpendicular to the floor. While some forward motion is inevitable, this can be minimized when you place a 2x4 board or a five- to twenty-five-pound plate beneath the heels of your feet. Experiment to see which elevation works best for you in order to build muscle.

Once you are in the squat position, think of yourself as a rocket. Thrust your body upward and not forward. Push up from the heels of your feet, which will help your balance. (This may seem like a small change, but it can make a big difference.) Also, look forward while you squat. Examine your technique in the mirror as you rise. Never look down, as this can cause you to lean forward, nor look up, which can result in a curving of the spine. Furthermore, when you lower your body into the squat position, make sure that your knees bend directly over your feet. Practice this without weights at first until you get it right. Knee problems are not inevitable with the squat. They result from improper technique. Minimize the strain on this essential joint by always making your feet "disappear" beneath your legs during the movement. This can be achieved with a close or wide stance, depending on how you pivot your legs at the hip.

The powerlifting-style deadlift is another potent testosterone releaser, so consider it if you want to build muscle. In this exercise, the legs are bent when the weight is on the floor. The initial movement is with the legs, which begin the upward thrust of the body. This is very important. Sometimes novice athletes start this exercise with their backs, which is a great way to strain your lower back and injure yourself. After the legs begin the ascent, the upper body should follow suit until you are standing upright with your arms straight and the bar is in front of your legs.

Use a strap to grip the bar. This will allow you to focus all of your effort on maintaining perfect form during the upward thrust. The hands should be only as far apart as necessary to permit free clearance of the legs during the ascent. Some athletes alternate the grip of their hands, with one palm facing toward the body and the other facing awaythis is said to improve balance. Others find this position awkward, and prefer to grip the bar with both palms facing the body. Use the position that you find most comfortable. This will allow you to focus all of your energies on the lift. Try to maintain the spine in a relatively straight position, without excessively curving it forward or backward. Such curvature places stress on the spinal column and can cause injury. This is particularly important at the top of the movement in order to build muscle.

The inclusion of these two exercises in your workout will stimulate muscle gain. The greatest testosterone release is achieved when you lift a weight that is 150 to 200 percent of your total body weight, although lower weights also produce a hormonal response. You should slowly work up to these ideal weights, however. Give your muscles plenty of time to adjust to the larger loads. In time, you will reach your goal without strain or injury. Patience is not only a virtue, it is a necessity for safe muscle growth.

In order to assure whole-body recuperation and to prepare yourself for this anabolic assault, take a break from training on the days before you do squats and deadlifts. If you can't take a day off because of your training schedule, at least try to separate the days you do squats and deadlifts in your routine as much as possible. This will spread these testosterone-releasing exercises throughout the week, permitting the most even distribution of this essential hormone over time. It will also give your legs more time for recovery, as both of these exercises utilize the thigh muscles to a great extent. This will stimulate muscle growth and ensure that you reach your bodybuilding goals as soon as possible.

Are you interested in building lean muscle mass?

Discover the secrets to effective muscle building diets, and how to gain weight fast, by going to: http://www.getahotbodynow.com/

Friday, July 4, 2008

Building Great Soulmate Relationships

Building great soulmate relationships in life takes time and commitment. If you choose to spend time and you choose to commit you WILL most certainly build a relationship that will bring you joy and contentment. Some keys to building great relationships include:

Connect with the one that you love
Make time to remind your soulmate that they are special. Write them a note, send an email, sms or phone them during the day at work. Do something that you know will be meaningful to your partner. Make sure your efforts dont go to waste; connect with them keeping their love language in mind. Be intentional about making a daily connection in the middle of your busy life.

Plan your time
The old saying fail to plan and you will plan to fail is so true when it comes to soulmate relationships. Planning your time is of utmost importance in building great soulmate relationships. The average couple is so busy with work, catching up with friends and other responsibilities that sometimes in an established relationship you can fail to plan to spend time together. Check your calendars each week and make note of time when you will be together. Be intentional about spending casual social time together and also about spending quality time building into your soulmate relationship. A regular date night is a great idea.

Be protective of your soulmate relationship
At times healthy jealousy is a must in relationships. If you are not going to protect your soulmate relationship, who will? Dont allow yourself to be in situations that compromise the integrity of your relationship with your partner. Always remember that soulmate relationships can last forever- make sure that the emotional needs of your partner are being met. Dont take each other for granted. Your relationship is important.

Dont forget the special occasions!
Use your diary or the reminder function in your mobile phone; make a note of birthdays, anniversaries and special events. Talk about important events and make sure that both partners expectations are equal. Unnecessary tension can result in a relationship due to unmet expectations. If you would like to go away for your anniversary make sure that your partner knows! They are not mind readers. It may seem to take the spontaneity and romance out of it all but in the long run your soulmate relationship will be stronger as a result of discussing such issues.

Introduce surprise to your relationship
Assuming your partner likes surprises, and you have time, there are many ways you can surprise them. Organise with their boss that they will take an extended lunch break and take them out to lunch, send flowers, a card, chocolates- the options are endless and can really add spice to your life together. Interrupt the mundane with a surprise and youll be amazed at what it does for your soulmate relationship.

Get away with your friends
If you are in a steady relationship make sure that you havent become exclusive with your partner and in the process lost all of your friends! This is a common mistake that couples make when entering into a relationship. At the start everything is new and very exciting and before you know it you have neglected the old friend that you have had since high school. Friendships are important and it is healthy to have mutual friends and for each person to have their own friends in a relationship. It brings diversity and spending time apart only makes the heart grow fonder!

Become a student of your partner
If you are in a relationship you need to become a full-time student of your partner. Make it your mission to learn everything there is to know about them. Their likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, how they relate to others, how they feel most loved. When you take the focus off yourself and your needs and focus on your partner you will discover that you are in the process of building a great relationship. As you focus on your partner they will become more focused on you- it is always better to give than to receive!

Anita Rossow has a Bachelor Degree in Education and is passionate about seeing and helping people grow in all areas of their lives. See her homepage at http://www.soulmatediscovery.com. If you would like to find out more about love languages and finding your Soulmate visit: Soulmate

Success Secrets of the Greatness Grower

"The power inside of you would stagger you if you really knew what it could accomplish. It is a power that conquers, empowers, and Grows Greatness. But most of us have been conquered by Greatness thieves that have robbed us blind. "

Clueless.

That is how most people are about their Power to Succeed that lies dormant within them. They have no idea of the Success Greatness that lies deep within just waiting for a chance to explode into the world and make a so so life into a life made only of dreams.

You have a great Power within that can help create any life you want, have anything you want, and do anything that you desire. This Power is one that has been waiting, watching, and willing to take on the Success Journey in a way that would leave you breathless and in awe.

YOU are that powerful on the inside.

Yes, that Success Power and Force is within you, and waiting to come out and change your whole world! Success is basically the releasing of that Inner Will and Power in your 5B4life, and then operating your life in such a capacity that Success can ONLY be the result!

DARE to step beyond the limits today and live "Life Beyond the Barriers.(tm)"

But people will tell you that this Success Power is for others and not for you, as you came from the wrong family or side of town. They will tell you that Success has never been a part of who you are. Don't buy into the lie.

Success is already inside of you.

YOU must release it, and never look back, as that is where you came from, not where you are going. It is where you used to be, not where you are now. It is WHO you used to be, but not who you are now.

Today, something has shifted inside of you.

You are a POWERFUL being that God has made for massive Success and Achievement, and today you make that decision to release it and never look back at what USED TO BE.

Success is about what is GOING TO BE! And you are going to be a HUGE Success today and not be clueless like so many others.

Let others walks among the clueless crowd and be blind to what the Truth is about their Success.

But not you.

There are so many people in the world that simply are deceived into believeing that what they have and are doing is all their is to life.

They are clueless to the Greatness that lies within them.

I should know....

Mine laid dormant for years. It laid there like a rock that I carried around with me. It heard5B3 all the excuses and the pathetic reasons I was not a Success. It put up with my lack of great effort, as I replaced it with weak effort that was "just enough" to get by.

Am I proud of that fact?

Nope...hardly. I shake my head at it, and that is the reason for this lesson- Release the Greatness and Giftings that you have been blessed with!

I had the Shift- and so have you today! The Inner Shift of Greatness that shifts your life into Success overdrive!

Let me ask you the questions that I had to ask myself:

Are you proud of the fact that you probably have truly never tapped into the Greatness and Gifting of Success within you?

Are you proud of the fact that you could be doing do much better in life? We ALL could!

Here is a Million Dollar Question...

Are you more proud of your Mediocrity than your talent and Power God gave you to Massively Succeed?

YOU are a WINNER and Blessing to people!

YOU are a Gifted Talent that attracts Success to you like a magnet on Steroids!

YOU are the Enlarger and YOU will enlarge you and others today by encouraging them and taking them to a higher realm of thinking, belief, dreaming, actions, and life and total faith in what they can do with it by simply releasing it, and GROWING IT.

Truly, YOU are a Greatness Grower, and Success Shifter today...

And today...YOU start with YOU!

(c) 2006/ all rights reserved

Doug Firebaugh is one of the top Success Trainers in the world. Over a million people a month read his training ezine. He spent the last 7 years traveling the world speaking and training on Success. He lives in Birmingham Michigan, and you can receive a FREE subscription to his training ezine- The MLM Success HEAT- at: http://www.passionfire.com/pf_heat_9.html
http://www.passionfire.com

Self-Hypnosis Recordings to Gain Confidence

Self-hypnosis recordings are used to achieve many goals, especially those that are related to self improvement. As a technique to gain confidence, self-hypnosis has remained popular. But how effective are these recordings and how will they work to help people gain confidence?

Self-hypnosis Hypnosis is not considered nor accepted as a pure science, but it is widely practiced as an alternative form of treatment for a variety of psychiatric problems. It is also used to supplement the more traditional form of treatments such as medication and is often used as a way to manage pain, attain relaxation and yes, gain confidence. By using different techniques and when administered properly, self-hypnosis can become a valuable tool in personal growth.

Will self-hypnosis recordings help me gain confidence? Before you put your trust on self-hypnosis, first learn what the nature of this technique is. For one, self-hypnosis is mainly a tool to achieve a set goal. It is not an end in itself and whether or not it works will depend on different factors, all of which contribute to the success of a hypnosis therapy.

Second, self-hypnosis is notoriously dependent on its user. Certain individuals, for example, cannot be hypnotized not because they have some physiological anomaly in their person but because they do not have the tendency to believe or accept suggestions. That is not to say that people who use self-hypnosis are gullible. It's just that they are wired differently and are more willing to accept whatever it is that they so willingly volunteered themselves to do. So if you already prepared yourself to accept suggestions that you will gain confidence, then self-hypnosis will be of great use to you.

How are self-hypnosis recordings used to help people gain confidence? The goal of self-hypnosis is to allow you to attain contact with your own emotional life. Whatever behavior regression or pre-conceived notions you may have such as fear, phobias, anxiety and conflicts are brought out and eliminated or at least minimized, reducing their negative impact on your emotional life. The result, as all hypno-therapists hope, is a better and emotionally more stable you.

Self-hypnosis is a gradual process and beginners often undergo a series of basic techniques before moving forward to the more advanced techniques. Techniques also differ and whichever you use will depend on your own personal preference.

You will, though, encounter the techniques that are commonly used for self-confidence hypnosis sessions. One is the monotonous and repetitive use of verbal commands, another is the controlled breathing technique and still another is one that may use either or both music and imagery. Choose the technique that you are most comfortable in because that has more likelihood of working for you.

Can self-hypnosis recordings change my life for the better? While hypnosis has been practiced for thousands of years, its use is still clouded by plenty of misconception and misinterpretation. Do not cling to the hope that self-hypnosis will change your life. It won't. It's how you react to it and what you will do as a consequence of using it that will determine whether you will gain confidence or not. If you use if effectively, you can definitely benefit from the result of your sessions.

Is there any danger at all in using self-hypnosis recordings? Assuming that the self-hypnosis recordings you use are prepared by a qualified and trained professional, there should be little concern on your part. However, hypnosis has the ability to confuse, often allowing memory to combine with fantasy, producing a totally different and complicated version or persona altogether.

If you want to play it safe, go to a trained professional to ensure your safety and emotional well being. This is especially important if you're the kind of person who has more tendency to be accepting of suggestions. Otherwise, simply choose self-hypnosis recordings that are provided by professionals to help you gain the confidence you so richly deserve.

A caveat: self-hypnosis is not a cure-all and it will not solve all your problems. What it will do is to help you get in touch with yourself to find out how you can best solve a problem or react to a certain situation. As a way to gain confidence, self-hypnosis will only be effective if you yourself allow it to become.

For more complete information on self-hypnosis please go to: http://www.aperfectharmony.com http://www.a-1hypnosis.com/index.htm http://www.drnathaliefiset.com

Face Personal Challenges

1. Every day, try to free yourself from the desire for perfection and allow your confidence to grow. It was the Buddhist Lama Yeshe who said, Self-confidence is not a feeling of superiority, but of independence. That is an important point to remember: that you do not feel good because you are better than someone else. You feel good purely because of your own efforts and achievements. Confidence is not puffed up, arrogant, selfish or boastful. It is a quiet and unmistakable authority which motivates and inspires others. Self-confidence comes from being challenged to ones limits, meeting the challenges, having a sense of fulfilment and then setting new limits. We can only learn by admitting we dont know everything, and never will.

As another Buddhist advises, Be light, humorous, eager to learn, courageous to change and not afraid of making mistakes. Emotionally beating yourself u167Cp is not helping you or the world; it does not change the past nor does it change the future. It only makes the present miserable. Absolutely.

2. Perseverance
This quality will make a big difference to your life, so please bear it in mind. Do not not expect everything to happen at once or overnight, but it should not take too long either. Life is a journey, not a series of unconnected events. If you treat it as such, you will always be ready for the unexpected pit stop. You will accept that life will go on for you, with every day being a different one, until you dont exist anymore. The extent to which you enjoy and benefit from your life depends on the state in which you make that journey, whether you are positive or negative, an optimist or a pessimist.

Having off-days in emotions, when you have to recharge to face the next day or hurdle, is absolutely fine too. Dont fall into despair just because your mood changes and you feel overwhelmed, sad or anxious at any particular time. We are not machines. The off-days are as important for recharging those emotional batteries as the good days. Its when every day is an off-day that life is truly problematic. If your self-esteem is consistently low, or youve tried confidence remedies and there is no improvement at all, it might be worth seeking professional help. It could be that you never really developed a high opinion of yourself during your childhood and you now lack a firm, positive base to build on in appreciating yourself as a valid, but flawed, extraordinary human being.

3. Take Risks
If you have a problem or worry, it means it is time for change and something needs to be done differently. If you do not change, you will keep getting the same old problem. Always approach new experiences as opportunities to learn and develop rather than occasions to merely win or lose. Doing so presents new possibilities for your abilities which can increase your sense of self-worth, while providing opportunities to release that inner talent and reserve. Its always the challenge of the new, and the act of accepting these challenges at varying levels, which increase our self-confidence. Not doing so turns every possibility into a projected failure and inhibits personal growth.

For example, as I encourage contributions and opinions from our small office of four staff, it is often like a mad inventors studio where we have many ideas for the business every week, while accepting that only few will ever work. The main outcome is that everyone has a sense of ownership and responsibility for every aspect of their work, making even the most junior worker feel significant. The beauty is to give room for those thoughts, to take the risks which seem realistic, and to wait. The right ones will always work, though perhaps not in the way we expect, or the time expected. Doing nothing simply brings us nothing.

4. Dont Be Defeated
If at first you dont succeed, try something else. Everyone fails before they succeed. Think back to when you were a baby and learning to walk. You crawled first, then you stood up in an unsteady way, constantly landing on your bum. But repeatedly doing this improved your balance and built your confidence to take those first magical steps. Then you walked and, before long, you were running. However, there would have been many false starts and landings before you were able to run. As an adult, all you need is the same belief in, and patience with, yourself; the time to grow confidently and the determination to stick at it. By the law of averages, you will succeed in the end.

I am a living example of that with the business I created. Twelve years on, it is only just beginning to respond in the way I first envisaged because I too had to develop and grow with it. It doesnt mean I never had self-doubts, never felt foolhardy or demoralised, or not wanted to pack it in especially in the face of a lack of support and too many crises. But the success is all the more enjoyable and well earned because of the long wait, personal enjoyment and persistent self-belief involved.

How HAPPY are YOU? Try our simple HAPPINESS QUIZ to test how you feel about yourself just now. Being unhappy robs you of opportunities and success. How do you REALLY feel now?

ELAINE SIHERA (http://www.myspace.com/elaineone) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and lifestyle columnist. Confidential advice on personal/relationship issues is available on the quiz site. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a Personal Empowerment, Relationships and Diversity Consultant. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous and Ready to Fly!"