As every New Year approaches, many of us are doing the usualthinking, This year will be different. Im going to change(fill in the blanks)my work habits, my attitudes. Ill lose those pounds; Ill make that difficult choice thats long overdue. We re-make these resolutions throughout the year.
But will really follow through until the goals are accomplished? Or will this new determination be like the otherslots of good intentions, plenty of wishes, but basically, life goes on as usual?
Research on personal change (Prochaska, Norcross, and Diclemente; Changing for Good) has demonstrated that successful change comes in six well-defined stages. Perhaps the failure to recognize these stages has been responsible for your past frustrations and failures in following through on self improvements.
You see, each of these stages has a series of tasks that must be completed before you can progress to the next. You set yourself up for failure when you either try to accomplish changes you arent ready for or when you stay so long on tasks youve mastered (such as understanding your problem) that you become stuck indefinitely.
Think about your past experiences as you read what happens in these six stages.
STAGE 1: PRECONTEMPLATION When youre at this stage, you arent even admitting you have a problem. Weve all seen unhealthy denial in others. We often have trouble seeing it in ourselves.
Writer G.K. Chesterton said, It isnt that they cant see the solution. Its that they cant see the problem.
Precontemplators dont want to change themselves. They think others are to blame for their difficulties. Likely, others are experiencing the precontemplators problem and may be applying pressure for him or her to change. The responsesdenial and resistance.
Are you in this stage? Chances are, you are with at least one of the destructive and self-defeating behaviors you need to change.
STAGE 2: CONTEMPLATION When you move to the Contemplation stage, you acknowledge you have a problem, and you want to get unstuck. You begin to think seriously about solving your problem. You try to understand its causes, and you begin to investigate your options. At this point you have indefinite plans to take action within the next few months.
However, you can stay stuck in this stage for months or years. (Is this where you are now?) You know you need to change, and you intend tosomedayjust as soon asafterwhen the rush is over (when would that be?). You know your desire and your destination, but youre not quite ready to go.
Fear of failure can keep you searching for an easier, more dramatic, or more complete solution to your problem. The irony is, failure is guaranteed if you dont move on to the next stage.
STAGE 3: PREPARATION If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
You greatly reduce your success probability if you suddenly wake up one morning, say This is the day, and dive headfirst into a change without realistically and specifically planning how you will make the change happen.
At Stage 3, you develop a detailed plan of action and you may announce your intentions publicly. Your awareness is high, and you may have already begun small behavioral changes. Before moving ahead, however, you need to know exactly how you will keep your awareness and commitment high throughout the struggles of the next stages.
STAGE 4: ACTION This stage is the one that requires the most commitment and energy. Its where you actually DO IT! You receive the most recognition and support during this stage, because others can see that youre working at it. You follow the plan youve made in Stage 3, make revisions as necessary, and keep on keeping on even when its inconvenient or difficult.
Heres a caution: Action doesnt necessarily mean that lasting change has been made. Its an essential part of the process, but the failure to do whats necessary in the next stage, Maintenance, can sabotage the progress youve made so far.
STAGE 5: MAINTENANCE The maintenance stage is a long, ongoing process. From my experience, its the most difficult. (How many times have I dieted, for example, only to gain the weight back?)
The Action stage must be followed by constant vigilance and a systematic plan for dealing with those temptations that can draw you back into the old, destructive pattern. Its hard work to consolidate the gains youve made during the first four stages and to prevent relapse.
Celebrate achieving your goals, but dont relax and tell yourself, Whew! Im glad thats over! Develop a menu of mental and behavioral coping strategies that will take you through the times when your feet begin to slip. (More on that in the next article.)
STAGE 6: TERMINATION There is lively debate about whether this stage is possible when the behavior youve changed is an addictive habit. The ideal would be that you no longer feel tempted, and the habit is absolutely not a problem for you. Some say, however, that you must always maintain a life of vigilance.
I tend to agree. Some can progress to the point that they are not constantly tempted, nor do they think about it every day. However, I believe that once youve had a deeply ingrained habit or addiction, you are always more vulnerable than if youd never had it. Keep a level of awareness, especially in times of stress. Studies show that in times of stress or conflict, people are most likely to slip.
NOT A LINEAR PROGRESSION
Wouldnt it be nice if we smoothly progressed from one stage to the next? Its possible, but not probable. Most people have episodes of backsliding into Contemplation or even Precontemplation before trying again. In fact, studies show that New Years resolutions are made, on average, five times before the changer moves all the way to Maintenance! (Thats average. You dont have to do it that many times if you know how to move more effectively through these six stages.)
Dont give up! If you have a setback, dont stay there. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try againthis time with a revised and better plan.
Dr. Bev Smallwood is a psychologist who has worked with organizations across the globe for over 20 years. Her high-energy, high-content, high-involvement Magnetic Workplaces (r) programs provide dozens of practical strategies and skills that can be put to work immediately to:
- build strong leaders who influence and develop others through serving;
- energize, motivate, and retain team members;
- successfully accomplish important organizational transitions; and
- impress customers and build their loyalty.
Review a complete list of her programs available for your convention or corporate meeting at the website, www.MagneticWorkplaces.com.
John Quincy Adams
