How the Universe Will Make You Rich

If you are an avid watcher or listener of motivational products like DVD, Podcasts or Life Coaching then you may have heard of The Law of Attraction. This is a concept that has been around since the beginning of the twentieth century and has been debated and discussed in many texts throughout the last 100 years.

Very basically, the concept is based around the following four steps;

1. Know what you want.

2. Ask the universe for it.

3. Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is on its way.

4. Be open to receiving it.

Should we be considering this concept or is it merely just another collection of new-age philosophy that is designed to encourage a wave of positive thinking? Let us discuss what the Law is, whether it is real and how we can use the concept to help our personal development.

It is easy to view the Law of Attraction as the easy route. Just think of what you want and it will happen for you. The obvious response is to think to yourself that there is nothing to worry about because success will just come to you. But this is not the concepts purpose, as you will have to actually do something for it to work. But you can activate it by amending your thinking to begin the process towards success and growth.

Have you ever thought about someone and the telephone rings and it is them? I think we have all had this at least once or twice. If this happened once to a friend or family member, we could think how amazing that is and it is a co-incidence. But to happen to many people has to make us stop and think. The philosophy is that what we think about will happen to us, whether it is good or bad. Therefore it is sensible to make our thoughts pure and totally focused on what we want to achieve. The Law of Attraction says that when we think about something the Universe will help make it happen. Noel Edmonds a popular U.K television presenter wrote down that he wanted a new T.V. show after having success in the 1990's with Noels House Party. He has said in many interviews that without the Universes help he would not be enjoying the success of Deal or No Deal or Noels Christmas Presents, which are his latest two successful shows.

Look at your current lifestyle critically. Lots of people have the goal of getting up, going to work, getting home as quickly as possible and then watching T.V. The universe makes this happen and they tend to achieve this quite well! But the law does not care what we want, it merely provides it blindly. So it is very important that you empower yourself to implementing some change and take control of your earning power and future. It does not necessarily need to be a business or even making money, but follow your goals with complete focus and the law will do the rest.

The law is based on what the power of positive thought can achieve. The fact you are here reading this article suggests you have an awareness of this and can relate to it, even if it at present observing others is the only tangible evidence. Everyone who has a rags to riches story is testament to the power of positive thought. In 1937 Napoleon Hill published his book Think and Grow Rich which became one of the best selling books of all time selling over 60 million copies. He discusses the importance of controlling your own thoughts in order to achieve success, as well as the energy that thoughts have and their ability to attract other thoughts and therefore opportunities.Can youwork out what Hills great secret of the book holds? He said it is better if you work it out for yourself, and it is widely believe the Law of Attraction is the big secret he alludes to throughout the book.

Scientists are critical of the law because they cannot measure it. The word law implies a set of rules, so when the only way we can measure the success of the law is through occurrences which could easily be looked on as luck we are obviously open to criticism when believing in things like this. Another very obvious criticism is that if merely thought produced positive results then why poverty, famine and death in third world and other suffering countries?

Readers are encouraged to watch The Secret (2006 which focuses on the Law of Attraction. This can be found on amazon. This gained so much exposure that Oprah Winfrey dedicated two shows to the concept, and Larry King also had a lengthy discussion on the subject.

My personal take on the idea is that it enforces things I already hold close to me. Positive thinking never hurts, but to think negatively or not at all means you can never reach your potential. If you decline to learn how to ride a bike do not expect to be able to cycle. So do not be one of these people who sits back and shouts that life is not kind to them, stand up and force life to consider you as a potential success.

Whether or not you are helped by the Universe in reaching your goals, a lot of your assistance will come from within. The dogged determination to let nothing stand in your way will break as many barriers and obstacles as any law can. If the law does exist, then combining your own positive attitude with the universes help will make you unstoppable.

Malcolm Clarke is a self-help and personal success writer.

He maintains his success website that offers articles, podcasts and products.

Visit http://www.itsawinner.co.uk today.

How to Improve Your Motivation

Latest scientific researches on mind proves that hypnosis is the best way to improve the motivation. In the article below, I will discuss how you can improve your motivation through simple, but powerful hypnosis plan. So, how can hypnosis help you to become a highly motivated person?

Well, you will achieve this using Motivation for Success Hypnotic Induction. Lets go direct to the point. You are going to accomplish your three goals using Motivation for Success Induction:

1. Being motivated for success - You need to have a positive outlook and attitude about yourself. The induction will help you to become confident and remove the barriers that holds you back from reaching you goals.

2. Achieving success - You need to program yourself to achieve goals. The induction will help you to focus on your major goal and put all of your energy into it.

3. Enjoying success - You need to assimilate success into your life and enjoy it. The induction will help you to feel happy and successful in the choices and actions you make.

Now, it is time to start using the Motivation for Success Induction. Below, I have created an easy to follow, proven and powerful Motivation for Success Induction for you. If you use this induction with the plan below, then you will have high motivation forever. This is a promise.

Here is what you should do now: Firstly, record the induction below with your own voice and follow this induction daily for about 30 days. Then, when you notice a significant change in your motivation, use this induction whenever you feel the need for reinforcement.

OK, now start following the induction below and pay attention to each suggestions and sentences carefully.

Motivation for Success Induction begins:

- Imagine that nothing holds you back from reaching your goal and becoming the successful person that you want to be. Imagine a prefect kind of day, a day that you awaken to and just know it's going to be the kind of day where everything is just right, everything just falls into place. Your feelings are good, you feel at peace, you feel content.

You have been comfortable and protected within the boundaries that you yourself have created, you have been comfortable and safe, and now you choose to expand your comfortable space. Just imagine yourself pushing back the barricades, and instead you are expanding you horizons, expanding your goal, reaching forward higher and higher, feeling comfortable with your new goals, feeling comfortable with your expanded boundaries.

You feel safe, secure, and pleased that you have the control and power within you to change, to change your limitations and be the successful person you want to be. Your feelings are good, you feel at peace, you feel content. Now just imagine taking this special day and placing it just a little bit in the future, a day or two, a week, a month, just a little in the future, imagine that you have resolved many conflicts, many problems, and they are now in the past.

Imagine a smile on you face, you are at peace, content, you have found solutions to problems and you have resolved them. You are now free of past burdens, you are confident, self-assured, you feel centered and strong, now just imagine a goal or project that you would like to accomplish. Your goal is [write your goal here]. See yourself put all other minor goals aside and just focus on one goal or project. See yourself put energy into your work, see yourself complete it. you see new opportunities, you see new challenges that are more exciting than the old ones. You see yourself with renewed energy, you are enthusiastic, you focus, concentrate and new ideas develop from the old, new energy and positive feelings emerge, you are successful.

Motivation for Success Induction ends.

Remember: Hypnosis is the best way to improve your motivation. So, if you follow the Motivation for Success Induction, you will have high motivation for your entire life.

Orkhan Ibadov is a professional hypnotist who teaches you hypnosis and self hypnosis techniques. Orkhan invites you to learn more hypnosis secrets on his popular hypnosis site at http://www.hypnosisblacksecrets.com

Inexpensive Meat Substitute

What if I told you I'd found a food you can use like meat that's not only dirt cheap, but also healthier than many other food items on the market? You'd probably think I also had some swamp land in Florida to sell you cheap.

Well, TVP (texturized vegetable protein) is the "wonder" food in question. TVP is basically an inexpensive, relatively tasteless meat substitute which can be added to many dishes you're probably already fixing for your regular family meals.

TVP's texture is similar to that of ground meat, it's very low in fat and has no cholesterol. Since TVP is nearly tasteless, it absorbs the flavor of whatever you're cooking. I've found TVP tends to work best in fairly spicy dishes rather than bland recipes. We use TVP in spaghetti sauce, chili, soups, Sloppy Joes, skillet meals and tacos. For skeptical family members, you can even try sneaking TVP into your recipes mixed half-and-half with ground beef or turkey. The first time I snuck it into spaghetti sauce, my family commented on how good the meal was ... and no one suspected that the meat-like granules in the sauce weren't ground beef or sausage.

TVP comes in dry form (several different shapes/sizes: flakes, chunks, granules) and there are now also several flavored varieties. Since it comes dry, TVP needs to be reconstituted before using. To reconstitute, simply pour one cup boiling water over one cup dry TVP, letting it sit in a bowl until the TVP absorbs all the water (this just takes a couple minutes). If I'm adding TVP to something with a high water content such as spaghetti sauce or soup, I don't bother rehydrating it first since it will absorb the flavorful liquid from the sauce/soup.

I purchase TVP in the bulk food bins at my local health food co-op, but I've also seen it carried in several major grocery store chains. Just call around and find the stores in your local area that carry it.

Deborah Taylor-Hough (free-lance writer and mother of three) is the author of several popular books including Frozen Assets: How to Cook for a Day and Eat for a Month and A Simple Choice: A Practical Guide for Saving Your Time, Money and Sanity. To subscribe to her free email newsletter, Simple Times, send an email to: subscribe-simple-times@hub.thedollarstretcher.com Visit Debi online and read more articles dealing with simple living, frugality, parenting and much more: http://thesimplemom.wordpress.com/

The Power of the Feng Shui Colors

Feng shui is basically the art of incorporating happiness and prosperity in a home by making some changes in the house of office. And according to feng shui, one thing that has lots of influence in your day to day luck is the color around you. With the right knowledge of colors, you will be able to incorporate harmony in your house and working space. Basically, feng shui colors are based on the five elements, water, fire, wood, earth and metal.

Water is represented by the colors black and blue, and all its shades. So if you want more of water in your room, you can do so by adding as much of these colors in the room as possible. Wood is an element that is represented by all the shades of green. So if you want more of wood in your home, it can be achieved by either painting the room green or by adding as many green objects to the room as possible. Fire is the element that is represented by red, maroon and pink. So the more objects or paint of this color there is in the room, the more of fire that is incorporated in the room.

Now, here are some more tips of incorporating luck and prosperity in life with the help of feng shui and the colors associated with the remaining two elements. According to feng shui, the colors associated with the element earth are orange, brown and yellow. The colors representing the element metal are silver, gold, white and gray. So if you want more of metal in your home, instead of painting things these colors, you could consider placing statues of these colors or perhaps gold or silver paintings.

It is left to you to decide what changes you intend to make in the colors of your home to get more of the respective elements. Besides the things placed and found inside your home, feng shui states that the house position also determines the colors that have to be used in its exterior. Houses facing south should be painted gray, blue or white while those houses facing SW should be painted either red or earth shades. The houses facing west have to be painted blue or green while houses facing north have to have green or red shades incorporated in them. In case your home faces NE, then paint it earth shades or red and if it faces east or SE, make sure that it is painted in metal or earth shades. By following these color tips in feng shui in your home for better prosperity, you will soon find luck favoring you.

http://thefengshuitips.com

Taking Care of You - A Feng Shui Priority

A successful independent business person named Sue is in the field of sales and also a client. She recently told me, "Without surrounding myself with Feng Shui principles, I'd never reach the end of my day meeting my self-defined sales quotas without being totally exhausted. Fortunately the Feng Shui principle of taking care of self helps to ensure that I have enough energy left at days end to shop, go out to dinner or spend quality time with my family or friends."

It is not uncommon for people in our busy, fast paced multi-tasking world to simply run out of energy well before the end of any given normal day. Not only are we constantly multi-tasking and being bombarded with over 60,000 visual and audible images every day but our days are crammed full of things we must do, those things we do for others and things we should do for self. It seems like the last thing on our list always is "taking care of self."

Are You at the Top of Your List?

In the world of Feng Shui, "taking care of self" should be on the top of your daily "will do" list, not the very last thing you tend to and then only if there is time and energy left to do so. Only when you take care of you first will you be able to perform well at work, properly care for children, nurture a spouse, have rewarding equal relationships or be a good volunteer.

Caring for self is not the same as being selfish but rather a new way of looking at living your life. Making a priority out of "Caring for self" provides you a more energized way of living and thinking. "Caring for self" as a priority develops new positive energy habits that will reward you with productivity and efficiency during the day and with enough energy left at the end of the day to do necessary household tasks, enjoy your family and social commitments. "Caring for self" as a priority also creates an environment with much less stress.

While there are no magic cures when it comes to reducing stress in our lives and energizing self, there are a few simple steps you can follow that will help energize you while reducing some of that stress in your world.

The "energy boost" Plan

Step One is always "unclutter your world." There is no exception to this step. When Sue finds herself unmotivated or in a real selling slump - she gets busy organizing and getting rid of "stuff" which helps her clear her mind - the result - improved focus and productivity. Go through your home room by room and get rid of everything that does not fit, is broken, doesn't look right in your current home or is simply stacks of "stuff" that you really do not need.

The more uncluttering you do the simpler your life becomes and the easier it is to take care of what is left. In fact, the things that are left should be only things you really love because those are the things that provide you the best positive energy.

Do you really need dozens of magazines you will never read, stacks of books you have read and will never read again or hundreds of pictures of glowing sunsets you never look at and enjoy? Will you ever again wear half of the clothes in your closet that are either a size too small or went out of style three years ago? Get rid of all of that stuff. The rule of thumb for clothing is "if it doesn't fit, is out of style or you don't feel great in it, get rid of it."

Whether you have a home office, your work is your home or you work outside of the home, follow the same procedure for uncluttering your workplace.

Next, learn to work with daily lists of things to do. Call it a "Will Do List" since that shows action and present tense. At the very top of your list place at least one thing you will do to take better care of yourself. It can be something as simple as quietly sitting in the sun by yourself for 10 minutes just relaxing; or, listening to soothing music and allowing your mind to go completely blank for 20 minutes. Only when you allow your mind to go completely blank can you remove stressful thoughts and be filled with new positive energy and new ideas.

On the remainder of the list place the things you have to do and the things you want to do. Number them in order of importance and begin with No. 1 so you always get the most important things done first but only after you've done at least one thing for you to energize you. This step alone will remove much unnecessary stress from your life.

And third, be sure to unclutter your mind not just your external surroundings and personal environment. The mind stores forever all of the negative things that have happened to you over your lifetime unless you clean them out. Most people never remember all of the wonderful and good things that have happened to them - but always manage to hold onto a misinterpreted five word phrase someone said 10 years ago or all of the hurts un-intentional and intentional as well as painful experiences. Holding onto the negative energy of misconstrued statements, arguments, painful emotions and misspoken words only keeps you in negative energy space rather than creating uplifting caring for yourself energy.

The more negative thoughts you hold onto the more negative energy you carry with you on a daily basis. If you are holding onto all of this negative energy, this may be a big reason why you may not have enough energy left at the end of the day.

The easiest way to get rid of negative thinking it to simply say to yourself, "I no longer need to hold onto _______ (your specific negative thought); I have learned all I need to learn from that experience and now I send it away forever." The more you follow this simple procedure the more positive energy you will have left at the end of the day.

If you need an energy boost, remember to unclutter your surroundings, make a daily "Will Do List" placing "caring for self" at the top of the list and unclutter your mind - get rid of all of those negative thoughts.

These few changes in your lifestyle will lower stress, help you to be more efficient and productive and provide you lots more positive energy.

Pat Heydlauff, all rights reserved 2008

Pat Heydlauff, President of Energy-by-Design (http://www.energy-by-design.com) and Feng Shui expert, is a consultant, speaker, columnist and award-winning artist. She has been consulting with individuals, families, and companies since the early 1990's, with clients ranging from California to Florida. In addition, she speaks at corporate and organizational functions, and gives seminars to enhance productivity. Pat Heydlauff can be reached at balancingenergy@energy-by-design.com

How Safe Are Your Personal & Professional Relationships

Feng Shui offers many different ways and lots of advice on supporting your relationships. We see data in front of our faces all of the time, but we know that most of you only pay attention when there is a crisis. Are you looking around to see how your true relationships are with your clients and your partner?

Relationships tend to get passive and you figure just because you have had this business relationship forever, that it will go on forever. You have heard of the law of attraction? You attract to you exactly what you have in your life! So for example, your business relationship has been good with ABC Corporation , but another consultant or business person walks in the door to the place that you have done business with forever and says, "I can do a much better job than what you have, at a Lower Price. In this economy, are they going to be loyal to their established partner or are they going to listen to what this new company has to say?

I work in the hospitality industry and I see it everyday, I have worked with the big conglomerates and believe me, if they want your business, they will do everything that they can to get it. It includes more perks for you and your customers and best of all, lower fees. If you are a University or large corporation, the stakes are higher, could we offer you new score boards on your campus or a new Dining Facility? Now does this get your attention?

When you have a solid reputation with your clients, this type of situation could go like this:
John, yesterday George came in from DEF Corporation and offered me all of these perks, lower fees, new score boards, new dining halls, but thanks to you, your continued diligence has kept has in the best possible financial market. I thank you very much for being progressive with us and keeping us in the know with the Hospitality Industry. This is a true relationship! How do you feel now?

One of the best ways for making your business be different than the one across the road, is to provide your employees and you a solid foundation. Now the trick here is, how do you do it? Here is my suggestion, hire a Feng Shui expert to look at your business in new ways. If you are a traditionalist you think, no way! But if you are the person who truly is ahead in the game of business, this should be part of your strategy. Do some research on Donald Trump, check out his Feng Shui Master. Take a look at the positive thinking guru, Wayne Dwyer. His Feng Shui Master is at his home all of the time.

Whenever I am called in for a business consultation, I always place in my proposal a recommendation of having their homes set up in the philosophy of Feng Shui also. Feng Shui (meaning wind & water) has been around from 2000-5000 years, depending on the books you read. Its basis is to insure that your living and business space have the 5 elements of earth , water, fire, metal and wood in your environment. We are looking for a good flow of energy in your spaces to make you feel strong and supported in all things that you and your family do each day.

I haven't mentioned the personal relationships, but they too run the same way. We all go day to day to depend on our partners, but when do we give them the respect and the honor that they deserve? Is it saved for Valentine's Day? What about the other 364 days of the year. I am very fortunate in that I have this type of relationship where my spouse will bring me a cup of tea, just because! He is very consistent with this and happy to do this for me. What do I do for him? I bake him his favorite cookies, his favorite cheesecake for his birthday and I also pay attention to how he walks in the door from work each day. I respond accordingly and if he is down, I try to help bring about a change and a relaxation to his demeanor.

The majority of this is done very easily. My home and offices are all Feng Shui compliant. I believe we all deserve peace and calmness around us and when we walk into our home, we just automatically start relaxing our shoulders and shake off the stress of the day. That, my friend, is what a Feng Shui analysis can do for all of you!

Yvonne Phillips is a National Feng Shui Practitioner, Author and Speakerwith over 18 years of experience. Yvonne is certified with Feng ShuiInstitute International and has trained with world famous Feng ShuiMaster Lillian Too. As owner of Creative Color & Design, she incorporates Feng Shui principles into both residences and businesses, from small businesses to large corporations. Please visit http://www.fengshuiabc1.com for more information. Send an email to YvonnePhillips1@aol.com for a FREE article on Feng Shui Tips for the Bedroom.

Chi Spot Feng Shui Tips

Knock, Knock. Do You Know Where Your Front Door Is?

When I am contacted to conduct a Feng Shui consultation, looking at front entrances to the property is a main focus. Often what shows up as the familys favorite entrance are garages, hidden entrances and doors placed in what has become an inconvenient location over the years as practicality carved out a shorter path. In these situations, the front door is seldom used.

Feng Shui encourages regular use of the front door, known as the mouth of chi. The front door represents your public face and is believed to provide the path for abundance, prosperity and well-being to enter.

A clean, well-lit front entrance provides a beneficial welcome to anyone who enters. It lifts the chi as well as ones mood and sets the tone for all things good inside.

You may find it more convenient to enter your home through a garage or utility room instead of the front door. Certainly, there are benefits to entering your home where you are protected from the elements, can easily access the kitchen and kick off your shoes.

Should your home be one where the public entrance is not visible, ask yourself what is being hidden? Perhaps the front door entrance trails along the wooden footpath and dodges to the left into a dark, yin area. This entrance type is not conducive to a vibrant flow of life force.

Feng Shui adjustments to ensure proper chi flow into your home include regular use of the front door, well-groomed shrubs and clear footing. Above all, if you desire to use an alternative entrance be certain to enhance its beauty. Be mindful to have these spaces cheerful, clean and not utilized as a chaotic collection of cast-offs.

YARROW
102 Roosevelt Court, Annapolis MD 2403
410.626.1316
yarrow@FengShuiAtTheBay.com
http://www.FengShuiAtTheBay.com

Yarrow maintains that it is all about energy. She began exploring energy in the 70's utilizing at-hand knowledge of Native American traditions, awareness of life experiences, holding the question of what is really going on & applying this knowledge to her own life. Her curiosity of energy evolved into the study & practice of Feng Shui in 2001. Yarrow is a contributing author to the womens anthology: The Spirit of Women Entrepreneurs Real-life Stories of Determination, Growth & Prosperity. She is available for public speaking engagements.

Yarrow is a freelance writer & a graduate of a three-year PsychoSynthesis course out of Berkeley, California. She writes for Taste of the Bay Magazine, Lilipoh Magazine (global distribution) & other periodicals. She has studied with Australian Author Eric Dowsett, Rev. Lin Yun, Karen Kingston, Steven Post & other leaders. Additionally, she studied with Canadian Author Oriah Mountain Dreamer.

Use of Stones to Enhance Feng Shui

(1) Hang a quartz on top of each door if you have two doors face to face with one another. The occupants in the rooms with door facing each other would end up having a quarrelsome relationship. In Chinese, door is symbolized by the pictorial character of a mouth, and when two doors are opposite each other they are just like two mouths confronting each other. I recommend rose quartz to improve and harmonise relationship.

(2) Hand a quartz from the ceiling half way between two doors which are in alignment. Best to use a natural quartz which is faceted cut. It is inauspicious to have two doors in straight alignment in any building; they are called heart piercing doors.

(3) Place a geode of amethyst on the left hand corner of the room diagonally opposite the entrance into a room. That is the wealth corner. Can also use quartz ball or aventurine balls. (100 mm and above in diameter).

(4) If you need to protect your main door from unwelcome intrusions - negative spirits, place a large crystal ball or an amethyst geode opposite the door.

(5) If you have the foot of the bed facing the door to your bedroom, you are likely to be inflicted with ailments affecting your legs. I place two tektites (can use smoky quartz, black tourmaline or black obsidian) below the bed to neutralize the adverse radiation caused by this inauspicious positioning of the bed.

(6) If you have windows facing inauspicious position and objects in the landscape outside your house - sharp corners, railway tracks, hang faceted cut quartz ball from the windows. The quartz ball exposed to sunlight will also reflect rainbow colour lights into the room, making it charged with positive and lively energy.

(7) If you have a toilet entrance facing your bed, or dinner table, you can also hang stones - smoky quartz - from the toilet door to neutralize the Ying damaging energy.

(8) If you need to protect your house from thieves and even negative spirits, use a laser quartz and trace the outlines of the doors and windows you wish to protect. Visualise brilliant laser white beams from the laser quartz forming an energy frame protecting the doors and windows.

(9) Fossilized Wood brings luck and offers protection against negativity. Good to hang them on the front door, with your house number or name of the family craved on it.

(10) For couples having fertility problems, place either amethyst or agate geode or rose quartz in the bedroom near to the bed. Rose quartz is good to promote harmonious relationship between husband and wife.

(11) In your office, if you suspect your colleagues are plotting or backstabbing you, place a quartz cluster on the upper right hand corner of your working desk.

(12) In your office, if you have a window behind you, make sure the curtains are always drawn up and try to place a large rock - jasper, smoky quartz or elestial quartz, on the window ledge to make sure you have the support of your bosses and colleagues.

(13) To help your children to concentrate better in their studies and to protect their eyesight, place amethyst stones on their study tables - preferable amethyst generator (with either natural or cut or single pointed termination and a stable base at the bottom).

(14) Place tumbled quartz in front of your computer monitor to screen away the harmful radiations from the devices. Have to cleanse the stones once a fortnight by either salt water, or burying them in the garden overnight and thereafter expose to the morning sun to charge them up for reuse.

(15) To protect your toilet from negative energy, put tumbled white calcite nuggets in a glass bowl in the toilet. Make sure you cleanse the stones periodically, once a fortnight. (Can use sea salt and keep them in glass bowl overnight in toilet. Next morning flush away the salt into toilet bowl and replace them with new salt.)

Anthony Leong

Explaining the Absence of a Parent

It can be incredibly tough for grandparents that must care for their grandchildren due to the absence of a parent. Depending on the situation this can be very difficult, especially if the children are very young. It's not easy when all of the parental responsibilities fall to the grandparents but kids need someone to rely on. An absent parent is an issue that should be dealt with delicately, in the best way possible.

It can be tempting to tell a lie or make up a story for kids when their parents are in prison or a rehab facility. This is not a good idea. Your grandchildren believe what you say which means they trust you. Don't betray that trust with a lie that will be exposed one day later in the future. It's just not worth it. It's best to find a good way to tell the truth without saying more than necessary.

Be sure to explain where your grandchild's parents are in a way that is appropriate for their age. Very young children might not understand things like prison or addiction. In this case it's ok to simplify your answer as long as it leaves them feeling better about the situation. Don't give details that are simply too complex for them. It will only serve to confuse them further.

If the situation involves a parent in prison, kids will feel lost. They need to have a connection with you based on trust. They might be confused about their feelings toward the parent in prison and having you as a solid source of comfort is going to mean everything to them.

Kids should be told in careful words that their parent in prison is being punished because they have done something wrong. Kids understand punishment. They will likely have many questions including the ones you may not be ready for. Decide before your conversation how much information you are going to give them so that you are prepared with the right answers.

Addiction may be even harder to explain than prison due to the fact that small children may not understand it. If you struggle to find the right things to say, consult a child psychologist or pediatrician for advice. They can help you with some pointers on how to deal with the trauma the child may be experiencing.

Children do not want their parents to go away regardless of the explained circumstances. They must be made to realize that it is necessary for their parent to go away in order to become healthy again. Children are more accepting when they know it will really be ok and that their mom or dad will be home soon.

Children need to be able to express their feelings. Keep the lines of communication wide open so that they feel comfortable with telling or asking you anything. Sometimes talking can make all the difference in the world when it comes to feeling ok with a parent's absence. Grandparents are special for many reasons. This is a time when you must step into the role of both parent and grandparent in order to keep your family united through the tough times.

Find helpful and creative ideas for parents and grandparents while you shop our great selection of kids furniture (including our popular toy boxes) and classic toys. Visit http://www.TheMagicalRockingHorse.com today!

Sacred Love Building Relationships That Work - Some Essentials of the Heart

There are five simple ingredients to a great relationship. I think all of them need to be in place for the relationship to stand the test of time. Any one of them will trigger the desire to enter the relationship, but, unless all are there, the relationship just dwindles to maintenance.

The first ingredient of a great relationship

Falling in love, over and over again. Did you know that we "fall into love" with someone when we get out of our head? That means, we fall in love when we are not thinking. The irony is that we fall in love with someone because we expect nothing from them. Then, we spend the rest of our relationship with that person trying to get them to match our expectations. The fastest path around this is to acknowledge that you are going to have those expectations and they are important, but to fall in love, again and again and again, you need to have periods together where you just have time out. Fun stuff, where you just BE together without wanting anything. I call this STILLNESS but it's not still.

The second ingredient of a great relationship

The truth of human nature, (as opposed to the ego nature) is that it has two sides. Balance. So, we have a public and a private nature. They are always diametrically opposite. The total ass in public has a sweet side that they display somewhere else in life. So, in relationship, it is really common to find yourself focusing on the "darker side" of your partner, especially if you are into self-help, personal growth, yoga or meditation. You see, everyone has a good and a bad side. When we are in relationship we can easily focus on the bad side, because we become self-obsessed focusing on hiding our own bad side. It's like buying a yellow VW car. Before you buy one, none exist. After you buy one, it seems like every second person has one. When you become obsessed with changing yourself, or disowning your darker side, you can't see past the darker side of your partner. Their foibles. So, the solution here is to start to embrace your true nature, and as a result, be able to embrace the whole being that is your partner too.

The third ingredient of a great relationship

Evolve ya bastard. We tried to find a quote for the women folk, Evolve ya bitch just doesn't have the same ring too it and coming from a bloke like me, can be misinterpreted. So, simply put, "GET OVER IT." You are not a victim, shit happens in your life because you bred it. Take the fall, own your power, you cause your troubles. If you do this, you can fix this. See, if you don't cause your world, then how can you fix or change it? Evolve means to accept and UNJUDGE. That's deep stuff because it involves changing your beliefs. It also involves massive MIRRORING. Meaning seeing your own reflection in the actions and words of others. If you don't evolve in a relationship, you sabotage it and bring in the drama.

The Fourth ingredient of a great relationship

Dreams. 99% of self and relationship sabotage comes from lost vision. Now, I'm not here talking about maintenance. Like "bringing up the kids." When a couple get totally turned on by each other long term it's really because they see a great future together. It's exciting and filled with new adventures. When the libido drops or the emotion goes out, it's because that future has turned to boredom. Boredom in any area of life kills the human spirit. Now, you might say, "bringing up the kids is not boring," but really, its the same thing, day in day out. It's maintenance. I'm talking about things that you dream about. Holidays are a poor man's substitute for a great life. So, many people who lack the real vision of the future to inspire themselves, go on holidays. It's like putting a band-aid on a skin cancer. Do dreams, do vision quest together. Nothing is more important for long term sexy relationship than this.

The fifth ingredient of a great relationship

It's you. You have to turn up happy. You can't prey on your partner for happiness. Happiness is what you bring to your relationship. If you turn up bored or burned out from your job, you're going to suck the life force out of your partner. They have to put up self-protective barriers to that sort of ignorance. Get a life. Get a sport. Get a Hobie. And if you don't, you'll find yourself dreaming of sex with strangers, aka, TV Desperate Housewives. Stupid life. If your yoga class, your meditation class, your spiritual guru, your self help, your job does not send you home laughing, smiling, jumping for joy at the life you've got, then F...k it.

With Spirit and love

Chris "walk your talk" Walker

I really want to help people live to a different rhythm of life. I have done many practices to achieve inner peace, they were good, but fragile. Now, I have found stillness because life has become my meditation. I would love to share how. You see, once I thought my expectations were the best barometer of goodness. Anything that wasn't good, needed to change, or be fixed. Now, I know nature, natural law, creation. And I realise that with self-honesty, I can hold my inner peace, my stillness, wherever I go, not just on my cushion in the morning and night.
http://www.chriswalker.com.au and http://www.innerwealth.com - This is what I share.

Daily Motivation: 7 Methods

Isn't a lack of daily motivation one of the biggest problems we face when trying to better ourselves? We often know what to do, or at least the first few steps. But we hesitate, something else catches our attention, or we just don't feel like doing what we need to do.

Want some help? Here are seven ways to get motivated - ways that have worked for others. If you find only one or two here that work for you, you'll be on your way.

Seven Methods For Daily Motivation

1. Create desire. See the rewards of your effort clearly. This motivates many to sign up for get-rich-quick plans. A good salesman can have you living in your imagined dream home in minutes, and you'll feel motivated to do anything to make it real. Learn to be your own salesman.

2. Create pain. In Neuro-Linguistic Programming they teach you to link pain with not acting. An imaginary scene of your wife walking out the door with another man, as you sit there silently - that might motivate you to have that talk you've been avoiding.

3. Talk about your plans. By the time I tell my wife about the newsletter I'm going to write, I'm out of my slump and back at the keyboard.

4. Have a true interest. No interest at all might mean you need to do something else, but if it's just a task you dislike, relate it clearly in your mind to the greater goal. I don't like to drive, but when I remember those mountains I'm going to, I get motivated to drive.

5. Have energy. Caffeine will substitute for health for a while, but one way or another, you need some energy to have daily motivation. Exercise, sleep well, and watch out for sugary foods - the "sugar blues" will kill your motivation.

6. Create the proper mental state. It's hard to be depressed and motivated. Resolve some of your negative feelings, or at least do your important work when you are in a better mood.

7. Take a small step. Commit to raking up one bag of leaves, and soon you'll want to finish the yard. Any small step towards your goals feeds your daily motivation.

Now you have seven ways to self-motivation, but you have to actually use them. How do you get motivated to do that? Oh the irony! You'll have to figure that one out yourself. By the way, here's a bonus motivation method: Humor. Laughter often breaks up the feeling of being overwhelmed that sucks away motivation.

Steve Gillman writes on many self help topics including boosting brainpower, losing weight, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, learning gratitude, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. You'll find more at http://www. Self Improvement Now .com

Do You Have a Good Sense of Humor? Take the Quiz

Plato once said that Life was meant to be lived as play. When I ask audience members if they have a sense of humor, I usually get 25 per cent of the group raising their hands. Yet, when I tell a joke, most of the audience laughs. Id like to expand your understanding of yourself and humor. Underneath the word PLAYFULNESS are more specific terms such as humor and fun. Humor is the ability to give laughter or be the instigator of playfulness. This is the more yang, or masculine principle. Fun, on the other hand, is the ability to receive laughter. This is the more yin, or feminine, principle of playfulness. A useful metaphor may be that humor is the plug, and fun is the socket. The ability to be playful with life is to have both. Some people are good at receiving laughter; they can laugh at jokes or irony, but rarely express humor themselves. These people have a good sense of fun. Conversely, some people use humor often to instill laughter in others, yet may not be able to laugh themselves. Several professional comedians fall into this category. They have a good sense of humor, but not a good sense of fun. The ideal is to have both.

What Are Your Attitudes Towards Humor?

Before building on your sense of humor, it is important to do a personal attitude inventory. Read each statement and think about how often this is true for you

A) Always B) Mostly C) Dont Know D) Never

1. Life is hard, mostly a struggle. A B C D

2. When I work I have a lot of fun. A B C D

3. I find I worry a lot in life. A B C D

4. My mental health improves when I'm having fun. A B C D

5. Having fun seems to just get me into trouble as a presenter. A B C D

6. I laugh at myself when I make a mistake. A B C D

7. I feel overwhelmed by my responsibilities. A B C D

8. I take my responsibilities seriously, but myself lightly. A B C D

9. When I'm having fun, other people seem positively affected by me. A B C D

10. When I'm doing something that is just for fun, it feels like a waste of time. A B C D

11. I thrive on adventure. A B C D

12. Im not playful when I work because there is too much to do. A B C D

13. I put off learning more about humor because I dont have time. A B C D

14. I am grateful for my life, and make each moment count. A B C D

15. When Im with a group of people socially it takes me a while to feel relaxed enough to be playful. A B C D

16. Using humor feels too risky. A B C D

17. Im concerned people will think Im stupid or foolish if I try to make them laugh. A B C D

18. People generally consider me a positive, upbeat person. A B C D

19. My audiences are usually poker-faced grouches who practice mirth control. A B C D

20. If Im having fun at the front of the room, others feel uncomfortable. A B C D

21. The people I spend most of my time with are fun-loving people. A B C D

22. I look for what is wrong with a situation, before I look at what is right. A B C D

23. I have a good sense of humor; I can easily make people laugh. A B C D

24. When I was growing up, my family was humorously challenged. A B C D

25. I have a sunny disposition. A B C D

26. I laugh easily. A B C D

27. When things go wrong, I eventually find some angle on it that is funny. A B C D

28. Whenever I start to enjoy myself, I start to feel guilty. A B C D

29. I tend to see the glass as half empty. A B C D

30. My humor seems to hurt and/or offend people A B C D

31. Im less self-conscious when Im having fun. A B C D

32. I like to stay in control. Having fun often seems too chaotic. A B C D

33. I balance work and play in my life. A B C D

34. I make sure I take time to enjoy myself each day. A B C D

35. Most women arent very funny. A B C D

36. Womens humor is just as valid as mens. A B C D

Scoring
1. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
2. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
3. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
4. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
5. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
6. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
7. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
8. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
9. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
10. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
11. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
12. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
13. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
14. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
15. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
16. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
17. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
18. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
19. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
20. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
21. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
22. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
23. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
24. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
25. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
26. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
27. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
28. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
29. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
30. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
31. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
32. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
33. a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
34 a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
35. a.1 b.2 c.3 d.4
36 a.4 b.3 c.2 d.1
Total Score = ______________

Results

If your score was 117 or more, your attitude towards fun is a model for the rest of us.

If your score was 90-116, you are human. We all carry some negativity. You are still on your way towards a more joyous life. This book can help enhance that.

If your score was 63-115, your attitudes often repel wonderful, fun moments. Practicing new behaviors outlined in here, will help you re-write your inner script around fun.

If your score was under 62, you definitely need some help. But that's okay, there is lots of help available. And, each moment is an opportunity for making new choices.

Carla Rieger is an expert on creative people skills at work. If you want a motivational speaker, trainer, or leadership coach to help you stay on the creative edge, contact Carla Rieger.

Web site: http://www.carlarieger.com
Tel: 1-866-294-2988
Email carla@carlarieger.com

You're Closer to Your Goal Than You Think

Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them--a desire, a goal, a vision. They have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill." Muhammad Ali

Have you ever noticed someone that came ever so close to their goal, only to give up before getting there? A poem that I have always posted on the bulletin board in my locker rooms is about not quitting:

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must
But don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!
Anonymous

So what do you need to be able to stick to your guns?

You need to believe: When former football coach Lou Holtz took over the football program at South Carolina, they weren't very good. South Carolina was getting ready to play a game where they were a 21 point underdog. No one believed they could win--the players, the alumni, or the media. Holtz asked his team, "Tell me all of the reasons why we are going to win this game." Silence filled the room. After what seemed like an eternity someone answered. Although the process started off slowly, within an hour Holtz had over 50 reasons why they would win the game. The focus shifted to why they were going to lose to why they were going to win the game. They won the game!

"When the why gets stronger, the how gets easier." Jim Rohn

You need a plan of action: President John F. Kennedy said, "There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less that the long range risks of comfortable inaction." As my Uncle Harold used to say--Off and On--Off your butt and on your feet. Remove can't from your vocabulary. Go forward or go backward. Do whatever it takes. But do something!

You have to have the desire to succeed: According to race car driver Mario Andretti--"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal--a commitment to excellence--that will enable you to attain the success you seek." What if that South Carolina football team believed they could win that game, and the coaching staff had a game plan, but it just wasn't important enough for the players to succeed? What do you think the outcome of that game would have been?

You need to stay the course: H. Ross Perot, Texas billionaire and former Presidential candidate has this to say about persistence--"Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown." What if the Pittsburgh Steelers had given up when Arizona had taken the lead in the last minute of the game? There is a Japanese proverb that applies to sports, business, and life--"Fall seven times, stand up eight."

How small is the difference between winning and losing, success and failure?

According to S. L. Parker in his 212 Degree-The Extra degree, the difference between first place and being just another contender is miniscule. Parker cites the following examples:

1. During the period 1977-2001, the average margin of victory on the professional golf tour was 2.36 strokes. Or, 0.59 strokes per day.

2. During the period 1998-2002, the average margin of victory in the Triple Crown horse racing series (15 races) was 2.2 lengths. Six of those races were decided by less than a single length.

3. During the 2002 Winter Olympic Games the margin of victory between a gold medal and no medal was: Men's Downhill Skiing 0.65 seconds, Women's Downhill Skiing 0.93 seconds, Men's 500 Meter Speed Skating 0.26 seconds, Women's 500 Meter Speed Skating 0.62 seconds.

4. During the 2000 Summer Olympic Games the margin of victory between a gold medal and no medal was: Men's 800 Meter Run 0.21 seconds, Women's 800 Meter Run 2.36 seconds, Men's Long Jump 29 centimeters, Women's Long Jump 16 centimeters.

"The line between failure and success is so fine that we are often on the line and do not know it. How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience, would have achieved success. A little more effort and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success." Elbert Hubbard

So what's it gonna be? The choice is yours. Remember--"Failure will never overtake you if your determination to succeed is strong enough." Og Mandino

Tom Hughes is a coach, educator, author, and motivational speaker. He has an MEd from Pittsburg State University. He has taught and coached on the high school, college, and professional levels. Since 2001 Tom has written Motivational Moments, a free motivational newsletter. He authored "Power Thoughts for Coaching Basketball, a multi-purpose source book for basketball coaches.

Tom has spoken to business and civic groups, college and high school students, faculty and staff workshops, and athletic teams. The most popular program topics are - Goal Setting for Success; Team Building - On the Court or in the Office; Developing and Maintaining a Positive Attitude; Leadership Training; Improving Performance Through Achievement Motivation.

His website is: http://www.motivationnmore.com

The Truth About Jealousy

This article will not take up too much of your time, but will be very helpful in your daily life. What you are going to read is important in regards to the very controlling and confusing issue that so many women are challenged with every day, for some every single minute of their day. In this particular part of the jealousy series, you will learn what jealousy feels like and just how serious and captivating an emotion it can be. The next article will talk more about dealing with jealousy and how one can actually get control of it.

In the next few minutes you will learn what and how a woman feels when she is stuck in this very real and controlling jealous emotion.

It has been proven that many women are not even able to identify this confusion of thoughts that they are suffering from. A very big part of healing and winning these battles of jealousy is in identifying your enemy. In this situation the enemy is the jealous emotion that results from a much deeper issue that may or may not be obvious to its victim. You will hear more about that in a bit.

Through research and in speaking with many women every day through the womensselfesteem.com, jealousy seems to be a very big issue that has them in such a downward spiral that they cannot find a way to get hold of it.

One of the main causes for this negative emotion, "jealousy" stems from a time in a persons life when an emotional wound is created, which severely attacks their safe world or in other words their feelings of inner securities. These insecurities will seriously affect a woman's self-esteem, which will in turn result in feelings of low self-worth, lack of a self-respect, and mistrust. These emotional wounds can be caused from several types of abuse or trauma such as, physical, psychological or an over-restrictive/dominated childhood. If a child is sexually abused, then that child's security is threatened through the fact that she trusted the abuser and almost always grows up feeling that they were at fault for the abuse. This also rings true in an adult life, especially if the victim truly trusts and sees her abuser as almost," God" like. When a child is psychologically abused, they usually live a life of demeaning name calling or belittling, again this does happen to adults in a trusting relationship. The over-restrictive or dominating upbringing begins at an early childhood and then follows through into adulthood. Each and every one of these abuses that you have just have just heard about are definite cuts that eventually turn into deep emotional wounds.

These wounds will send a person into a prison, a prison of fear and weakness that they will carry throughout their lives if they do not learn to identify them and deal with them and strengthen their inner self. So many women search for answers to solve this scrambled up problem that they can feel inside of themselves, always coming up with a 0. They tend to look outside of themselves and that is the mistake that they are making. So many jealousy issues come from within.

The human brain is set up of two minds, which allows two ways of thinking, one being positive and one being negative. Unfortunately if a person is somehow mistreated or loses a trust as you have heard about earlier through my thoughts, at any time in their lives, it tends to weaken their ability to maintain a balance between the two. This is when they will fall prey to certain triggers that will ignite the fuse that leads to jealousy. You may be wondering what triggers are, they can be anything from a memory of your past, a smell, a persons laughter, a picture, another women, a feeling of being left alone, or even a look from a partner. There are many different types of triggers that will set off negative emotions. In this series of articles you will learn about relationship triggers and how they set off your jealous emotions.

Negative relationship triggers are definite causes, which happen when a relationship fails due to mistrust issues caused by infidelities or pornography addictions by a present or past partner, and are left unresolved, which unfortunately will follow them into every relationship, if she does not stop and take hold of her issues.

Jealousy is not just a word that can be ignored or excused. It is a word to be feared because it is fear that creates this negative feeling. Have you ever noticed how jealousy changes your relationship from happy to devastate in just seconds? It will feel like something that you would not wish on your worst enemy.

The negative emotions that are hidden behind this word jealousy will tear your trust apart letter by letter, and rearrange it until it spells deception, betrayal, even hate. Theses words will turn you into a paranoid living creature, hiding from reality. Reality is truly jealousy's enemy. It avoids its enemy as quickly as it replaces the positive thoughts that you once had in its place. It is strong enough to take control of your mind and direct it into thinking that someone you dearly trust and love has turned into another being, a being that is cheating on you, lusting for another, watching pornography behind your back, lying to you when you ask a direct question, twisting everything you say so that you come out looking like you are delirious and they will laugh at you when you cry out for help. It will tear your guts apart until you feel like you are going to vomit and it will make your head swirl with uncertainty. Jealousy can speed up your breathing quicker than a exercise machine, which in turn will send your heart racing into turmoil. It is a total body trauma. It can make your body break out into a sweat so fast that it will make rain look slow. If you have ever had even one minute of these threatening feelings, you know exactly what I am trying to explain here.

This negative emotion will make your mind fear abandonment, ones biggest fear in a relationship are to be replaced or abandoned. This fear alone is a very strong trigger of jealousy. This fear will imprison you and force you to suffocate or guard what's yours, until that person can no longer be a victim to your jealousy. It will drive you to feel a deep need to control another's thoughts and actions. To allow jealousy in your mind to the point of this kind of control, is to fall victim to an," attachment prison" or an addiction. In this attachment prison you are the weaker element of the partnership or relationship, your need to feel attached will ruin your sense of security and your self-esteem. A very good example of an attachment prison is when you fear with all of your senses to let your partner out of your site, not even to go to the corner store or to work for fear he may see someone that you would deem as a total threat.

Jealousy is like a drug. Once it gets into your veins, you are no longer coherent or independent in your thinking. You have now just become a dependent thinker, dependent on jealousy and its power. To have such a need is also equivalent to an addict needing a drug. Your addiction is your jealousy, your high is the adrenalin that your body creates through its fears, only this is not positive adrenalin; it is a pure negative adrenalin rush. The only antidote to combat this addiction is through positive steps that will strengthen your ability to take back your control and find a freedom from that attachment prison.

Jealousy will not rest until through you, it has created a frustrating and unbearable environment that puts you in the position in your relationship as your own worst enemy. In effect you become the attacker that you have been trying to run from. You are now jealousy! You are the cause of this turmoil that is being thrown to your outside world; an outside world that cannot possibly feel your pain; nor can they help you escape it. But they will look down on you in their confusion. You are all alone in this prison. You are the only one that can feel this pain, the only one that feels this need to control and hide from the world. You will find yourself being driven by negative thoughts every turn you make.

Have you ever been on a negative thought rollercoaster? If you ever have, you will understand what I mean when I say negative thoughts; negative thoughts that will not let you think rationally. If anything, they will work very hard at confusing your positive thinking. You will spend countless hours talking to yourself trying to get out of insecure feelings and you will end up right back feeling the same negative control that jealousy has over you.

Jealousy will rob you of sleep hour after hour. When your mind cannot sleep, it becomes weak and that is exactly what strengthens the negative thoughts that will feed jealousy and keep it controlling you. These thoughts will turn over in your head until they are locked into a place of negative non realities. This is when you begin to believe in things which seem surreal. An example of this non reality is, let's say, you're walking past your partner as he is watching television. A commercial is on. There is a young scantily dressed woman on the commercial. Your immediate reaction is fear. You fear that at that very minute he is lusting her or worse, wishing you were her. As I said non- real negative thoughts = jealousy.

This negative emotion is extremely careful to not allow your self-esteem to strengthen. It will turn your thoughts into a comparison mode instantly when it feels threatened. When it can put your mind into doubt of it's worth, it has total control. It will continue to control and force thoughts of being undeserving, not worthy, unintelligent, boring, self-less, non-appealing, even just plain ugly. It is a true negative powerful and destructive emotion that will not only control your thoughts but will also alter your desire to love. It will make you hide in safe, loveless corners and never allow another person into your heart. To allow a person into your heart would mean that you would be putting yourself at risk of falling victim to jealousy and all the horror that it creates and feeds on. So, you at this stage begin to set up protective walls, separating you from ever being hurt, but also putting a wedge in between you and your partner. Your choice, if you choose to stay in negative thinking, is to live a life alone.

When you have allowed it to weaken your thoughts to the point of delusional thinking, your mind will only see what will feed this negative emotion. All of your rational characteristics will be taken over by irrational thoughts and reactions. Everything that you thought you could control is now uncontrollable. Nothing is what it seems, while this jealousy emotion has you imprisoned behind its bars of negative and low self-worth thoughts.

I truly believe that being controlled by jealousy is similar to being in captivity. Your mind will get so conformed to that space that you're allowing, that you will learn to depend on it. You will feel safe only in that space. All of your knowledge of what's outside of that captive space has been hidden away into a very dark deep place in your mind. It is all you feel that you can control, not even realizing how little control you do have; again equivalent to an addiction.

What captivity and jealousy have in common is that once you allow your mind to be controlled or captivated by the overpowering emotion: jealousy, your mind will react as it would in a captive situation. Both jealousy and captivity hold your mind and reshape it to conform to its negative demands. A person in captivity eventually starts to depend on the person that's holding them captive. You start to depend on the feelings that you're getting from being captive by your jealous emotion. Jealousy becomes you, and you become jealousy. Together the duo team that you have allowed to control your thoughts will now destroy anything that is real. You will now live together in an unreal negative world of deception.

You will live and breathe the feelings of fear, worry and deception. You will not rest one single minute. Your mind will constantly be filled with disorder and accusations and," what ifs". At this point your ability to trust and feel secure with your partner will no longer be available to your mind, to your negative mind that is; the negative mind that you have allowed to take place of your once positive mind. Your innate desire to protect you and your reason for being are now at risk in your mind. You need to control everything and everything about your partner, right down to his every move. You need to take ownership in order to feel safe. With this control, then and only then can you feel safe from jealousy? Again the," attachment prison" takes over. This prison created by jealousy to keep you in its power and control. You're first breathing thoughts are livelihood and your future are based on attachment and acceptance. To lose that would be like dying a very slow death. Under the control of jealousy and its attachment prison you will fight to survive at any cost. You will be on guard even in your sleep, to notice even the simplest sign of abandonment or loss. Hence, the sleepless nights, haunted by the enemy: jealousy, captivated by the attachment prison again.

This is what you already know of jealousy. It is not fun. It is not a happy place. It is however very destructive and it will destroy your life if you continue to allow it to control your thoughts. As I mentioned earlier in this article, your mind has two sides, one being negative and one being positive. You have the ability to choose.

I have brought this part of the jealousy series to you because of how important it is to identify with the truth of jealousy. It is as real as you are sitting there listening to this. There is a way out and a way to free your mind of this prison of negative thoughts. Through my next article on "The Truth of Jealousy", you will learn steps and strategies that will help to strengthen your mind so that you may win the battle of negative thinking.

dorothyl@womensselfesteem.com

How to Write Inspirational Articles for Newsletters

Inspirational articles were once limited to self-help and religious publications, but they are just about everywhere now. (Think about those wildly popular Chicken Soup books or most of the stories in Reader's Digest, for example.) Inspirational articles can be very useful in newsletters, because they make a human connection between the newsletter publisher and the reader.

Well-written inspirational articles move people emotionally and motivate them to do something or to make a change of some sort. Nonprofit organizations can use these articles to motivate readers to volunteer, write letters of support, or make a donation. Businesses can use inspirational articles to create a positive public image, build brand loyalty, and encourage repeat business.

Good inspirational articles have five characteristics.

1. They are personal.

Inspirational articles are all about the power of personal connections. They should include very personal stories about real people's lives. Don't shy away from the emotion, as strong and powerful feelings are central to good inspirational articles. You aren't speaking to your readers' minds with these articles; you are speaking to their hearts and souls.

2. They involve an emotional struggle or challenging decision.

Clearly describe the struggles, obstacles, or difficult choices that the people in your article have faced. How did they recognize the problem, deal with it, and overcome it?

3. They paint a scene.

Help your readers visualize what the people in your story went through. Describe the physical locations where the events took place. But dont stop there. Appeal to your readers senses of smell, sound, taste, and touch.

4. They include a universal message.

Inspirational articles usually end with an epiphany. They enlighten us or remind us about the essential nature or meaning of some element of our daily lives. These are often very simple lessons -- the importance of family and friends, the joy in giving, the danger in stereotypes, or the value in facing our fears, for example.

5. They are true.

Your inspirational articles must always be true. It is OK to change the names or locations; just state that you have done so. Making up stories to play on your readers' emotions is unacceptable. If you are caught telling lies, you will destroy any trust your readers had in you and your organization.

What would make a good inspirational article for your organization? Think about the stories from work that you tell your friends and family. Consider interviewing a person whose life or work has changed dramatically as a result of your organization. The moments that inspire you to do the work you do will likely inspire your newsletter readers too.

2005, Kivi Leroux Miller. All Rights Reserved.

Kivi Leroux Miller is president of Writing911.com, which provides free writing advice, tip sheets, e-courses, and in-person workshops for people who need to write well at work. She specializes in providing guidance to nonprofit organizations on newsletters, annual reports, and other publications. Visit http://www.Writing911.com to sign up for "Writing Tips," a free monthly e-newsletter that will help you improve your writing and your publications.

The Aging of Relationships

"Yes, I will marry you.....and they rode off into the sunset and lived happily ever after." If only it were that simple. Most of us have visions of our relationships turning out this way, but that is often not the case. Somewhere between the "I do" and "happily ever after" problems arise. Over half of all marriages end in divorce. Of those marriages that stay together, a large percentage are not necessarily happy. What happens? Why do the majority of couples find it so difficult to stay together and remain happy? Just as individuals go through identifiable stages (infancy, childhood, adulthood, old age) so to do relationships pass through distinguishable stages. There are many different ways to name the stages of relationship. We prefer to use the following three stages: Romantic Love (also known as the honeymoon stage), the Power Struggle Stage, and Mature Love.

Many people are familiar with the romantic stage. This is where our lover is in our thoughts 24 hours a day and every moment apart seems like an eternity. We live for the moments that we can be together. We are aglow with love. Everything in our life seems to go well. Colors are brighter, sounds more distinct, foods tastier. We find that we need less sleep. We can stay out with our loved one dancing the night away and still be up early the next morning, energized and ready to tackle the day ahead. If we have disagreements with our partner, we are willing to listen and even let them win. We are in a state of bliss. Then something happens. Instead of continuing along happily in this state, our eyes (and our hearts) begin to shift their focus and we enter Stage 2.

Stage 2 is the power struggle. Most of us are familiar with this stage as the majority of relationships stay here a long time. It is the stage in a relationship where two individuals try to live together harmoniously while still standing up for their individual differences. This is the time when we try to combine two different ways of being and two different backgrounds into one workable relationship. It includes but is not limited to such things as combining two distinct ways of handling money, keeping house, and juggling time schedules with regard to work, hobbies, family, recreation, etc. It involves consideration of differing personal habits and parenting skills, varying degrees of sexual desire, different ways of communication, and more. Is it any wonder that Stage 2 brings to light what we perceive as flaws in our partner's character? She/he charges too much on the credit cards, puts recreation before chores, does not understand why I need to spend so much time with my parents, or has little desire for sex. Differences are difficult to live with, especially when we assume that we are right and our partner is wrong. Our reasoning is: "I've done it this way all my life; can't you see that this is the way it should be done?" Learning how to collaborate with a partner while at the same time maintaining our individuality is the lesson of Stage 2. It can be a lengthy undertaking and usually makes or breaks the relationship.

Some relationships will never go beyond the second stage. The power struggles that occur during this time put the "relating" in relationships to the test. Just as a teenager learns how to become an individual and relate to a world outside himself and his family, an adult learns how to become a partner and be in a relationship. We learn how to get along with others at work, in our community, our state, and in our ever expanding world. Most of us learn skills to go out into the workplace and perform at a job, but few of us learn the skills to communicate and be in relationship. Basic relationship skills can go a long way to move us through this difficult stage of power struggle. Tools such as "I" messages, reflective listening, and a basic understanding of the differences between men and women are an important start. We feel it is equally important to have an awareness and understanding of two basic concepts about relationship: 1) that we alone are responsible for our feelings as well as our actions; and 2) relationships can be used to either heal or rewound the individuals in that relationship.

Marilyn: Having been in a twenty year relationship that I now recognize was one continual power struggle, I can appreciate the flow of my present relationship. Chuck and I both have an uncompromising desire to be in a relationship that works, a relationship that we can use as a path to our spiritual growth. Dr. Wayne Dyer in his tape series Freedom Through Higher Awareness comments: if you have a choice between being right and being kind, always choose to be kind." This is a choice Chuck and I are consciously trying to make in our relationship. When we disagree, we make every effort to deal with those conflicts in the moment. We try our best to go inside and discover how we feel and what our part was in the upset. This is not an easy task, especially since we have been programmed to value being right over being loving. We are used to looking outside of ourselves and blaming the other party. My automatic response to an upset used to be "why can't he understand this, it's so simple!" For the life of me, I could not understand why my partner was so dense; why he could not appreciate that this was the way it was for me. What a world of difference it makes when I can take responsibility for myself. All the blame and frustration disappears. I no longer feel that sinking feeling of disappointment and frustration that I used to feel.....that hole in pit in my stomach that asked the same questions over and over: "why am I in this relationship," and "is it as hopeless as I feel it is at this moment?" In contrast, when I can come from the understanding that I alone am responsible for the emotions that well up within me, then I can look inside and examine those feelings. This is usually easier said than done, especially when those emotions remind me of unpleasant memories about how I was treated in the past. I try very hard to share those feelings with Chuck. Sometimes, the only word I can get out is "ouch," but that is enough to get us started. This effort pays big dividends. It allows us to come to a resolution about our misunderstandings and prevents the build-up of resentments. It is also a path to healing the old wounds and building a new relationship based upon the trust of self and each other.

Chuck: The difference between my relationship with Marilyn and my previous relationships is my willingness to look at what parts I play in our upsets. It wasn't long ago that I felt I was right during most of my arguments with women. I can even remember the times that I knew I wasn't right but still couldn't give in. This power struggle was a pattern I had followed for over 30 years and I don't really know how it started. It has been a slow progression of small realizations that has led me to the point where my relationship is usually more important than my being right. Notice I said usually. There are still times when I know I'm not right or realize that I am hurting Marilyn and our relationship by staying mad, but cannot break out of the old pattern. Fortunately these times are diminishing.

How did I begin on my road to recovery? It began with very intelligent women calmly questioning me about my reasons for staying angry. They wanted to understand what kind of benefits or rewards I received for this behavior. Even when they questioned me during a fight, it was done in such a way that I felt their concern. It was clear that they truly wanted to understand what was happening within me. There was no blaming or ill will.

This process led me to begin to question myself. I went to therapy. I learned techniques I could use during a fight such as active listening, taking responsibility by using "I" statements, fair fighting rules, active listening and more. Finally I decided that I wanted to have a GREAT relationship. Now I work on trying to let go of my need to be right and consciously make the choice to be loving. Believe me, it takes a constant effort within the relationship to maintain that awareness, but it is worth it.....and so is Marilyn!

Marilyn and Chuck: The final stage of relationship is mature love. We have traveled the long road of power struggles to get here and learned what we need to learn from that path. We have completed a 180 degree turn, back to the peace and harmony that we felt with our partner when we first met. Our heart (and mind) has shifted away from finding fault and instead is focused on the specialness of our partner.....the uniqueness that attracted us to them in the first place. We have come full circle. We started out in the Romantic Stage seeing only the good, went through the Power Struggle Stage seeing mostly the negative, and now we are able to hold both. This is an expansive state. It is at this time that we make the conscious choice to put our relationship first and give up the need to always be right. This does not mean that we become less of an individual. It is at this stage that we become comfortable with who we are as individuals so that we no longer feel that we are losing a part of ourselves or our needs in order to have our relationships flow smoothly. In reality, we become more fully alive as we have expanded within ourselves to accept both the positive and the negative in another person.

Many of us have had the privilege of experiencing the rare couple who just seem to flow together. Their love and appreciation for one another glows from their very being. They fit together and feel right and everyone can see it. There is a calm and radiance about them that makes others want to be in their presence. This state of being did not happen over night. This couple has done a lot of work to get where they are. There is a deep level of commitment and understanding between them. For us, knowing that this depth of relationship exists gives us hope for our own relationship. When the power struggles seem overwhelming, we let the vision of this couple give us the strength to stay on our path and just let go. It is our belief that it is within all of us to have this type of relationship. It is a merely matter of choice.

Copyright 2001 the Relationship Specialists, Inc. All rights reserved.

Great relationships don't happen by accident. Learn the secrets to having successful one. Marilyn Hough and Chuck Schmitt, the Relationship Specialists, are licensed Marriage and Family therapists in the Portland, Oregon area. Visit their website at http://www.relationshipspecialists.com for tools and tips on how to improve your relationships. You can also sign up for free bi-monthly relationship hints.

Improving Self Confidence

Even the most outwardly confident person has times when they would appreciate more self confidence. For the rest of us mere mortals, here are some helpful tips for improving self confidence.

1. Stop putting yourself down

We all have an inner voice. You know, the one that nags you incessantly if you get the slightest thing wrong. You wouldn't let anyone else talk to you in that tone of voice, so don't let yourself do it either! This takes a little practice but the essence is that every time you hear yourself criticizing you, tell that voice to go away (your choice on how polite you are when you do this!)

2. Play to your strengths

You're good at quite a lot of things if you think about it. Play to these strengths. Do more of the things you're good at. You'll find your confidence improving as you become more successful at these. Success breeds success, so it will spill over into other areas of your life.

3. Stop being so negative!

Cut down on your intake of negative things. Turn off the news. Don't read a newspaper. These two can be scary but other people will tell you if anything actually important hits the news. Don't be negative about yourself either - stop saying that you'll never be any good at whatever it is. As far as possible, don't let others be negative about you either.

4. Set achievable goals

Set them out step by step. You wouldn't climb a whole mountain in one giant leap. Split your goals into "bite sized chunks" so that you are constantly achieving something towards your goals. The regular sense of achievement will start boosting your confidence.

5. Remember a positive event

Go back to when you were more confident - it doesn't matter when particularly. Remember what you felt like. See yourself being confident and calm and collected. Make this image larger and more colorful. Add in the sounds that were there when you were feeling so full of confidence. Then "anchor" that feeling - maybe touch your left earlobe, maybe pinch your thumb and middle finger together, whatever you can use to easily "anchor" the feeling. Repeat this a few times and you'll find that the simple firing of your trigger will bring back these warm, happy, confident feelings.

6. Be yourself

You are who you are. Over time, you can use various self improvement techniques to work on yourself and improve things you want to change. But accept yourself as you are - you'll actually find you're probably quite likeable "as is".

7. Celebrate failure

You didn't learn to walk the first time you wobbled onto two feet. You probably weren't a natural bicycle rider or car driver either. As we grow older, we seem to expect to be able to do new things brilliantly the first time we try them. Unless it's painting by numbers or something equally facile, this doesn't happen in real life. Each failed attempt is just one more way you've learned how not to do something. Learn from your mistakes and build on your successes.

Get more tips on developing your self confidence and find lots of ways to start becoming more confident.

New Home Buyers Beware

Ican't believe how many homebuyers purchase a house, with very little information and a Lotta hope. I'm a general contractor and often work on these homes, after they have been purchased and a homeowner has their money, the real estate professional is no longer involved in the transaction and the new homeowner is starting to experience the pitfalls from buying the home, that they sincerely believe was in good condition.

It's usually somebody like me that gets involved with the new homeowners after everyone else is out of the picture and chooses not to return their phone calls or explains to them quite simply, it's not our responsibility, you're the new homeowner and we really feel sorry for you, please call us again if we can help you with anything.

You couldn't even help me with that, why would I want to call you again if I had a problem. I never could understand this thinking but have ran into it often. It sounds like an oxymoron when someone refuses to help you but offers you help in the future. What ever!!!.

If homebuyers had something else to rely on besides their real estate salesperson, home inspection service, mortgage or insurance professional, I believe they can eliminate some of these problems. Where do you start and how do you get the information. You can gather information from reputable people, books, the Internet and so on.

The problem is how do you know these people are reputable and the books on the Internet have good information. This brings us to another problem, but I've got the solution that will help eliminate some of the grief. I'm not going to remove all of the grief from your life but have a suggestion for you that will eliminate some of the pain when buying a home.

Arm yourself with a good home inspection checklist. You can search the Internet and they have quite a few good home inspection checklist to work with. These checklist can provide you with things you might not have thought of, and this is where you can eliminate some of the problems.

If you took one of these checklists with you while you were shopping for a home, you would be aware of some of the problems with the home. You might not find all of the problems but these checklist will help you with some of the problems.

Greg Vanden Berge is working on the internet to promote the education for creating simple to follow guides and home building books to help professional building contractors as well as the weekend warriors. He has just finished a Home Buyers Guide to take some of the frustration out of home shopping.

If your looking for some more home inspection or home building ideas.

Are Christians Really Interested

What Makes A Great Presenter?

Every day millions of people around the world make a presentation. Yet most of us who have been to meetings know that very few of those people are truly great. At each meeting there is usually only one person who stands out head and shoulders above the rest as someone who really connects with us in the audience. The truth is, most presenters are just plain average and quite a few are simply dreadful. So, how can you move from being a run of the mill presenter to being fantastic?

Every one of us has the ability to be truly great as a presenter. There is nothing particularly special about the people who stand out as brilliant. However, the average presenter is usually holding themselves back, doing things which prevent them from being good.

At every training course run by The Presentation Business we spend some time debating what makes a great presenter. This inevitably leads to a discussion of what the bad presenters do wrong. Having kept a record of what these sessions considered I have been able to produce a definitive list of what to do to make your presentations great.

The overwhelming conclusion of all these discussions is: content is NOT important. Of the hundreds of people who have debated what makes a great presenter not a single person has mentioned the value of the content. Your audiences are likely to think in just the same way. They are NOT interested in what you are saying, but the way you are saying it. If you say it well, that appears to make the content interesting. But what this means is, if you concentrate your planning and preparation on content, you are likely only to be average.

The most important factor for great presenters according to our discussions is that they make a personal connection to every member of the audience. This means lots of eye contact, liberal use of the words I and you, and that everything you deliver is done form the audiences perspective. This means you need to know a great deal about your audience in advance so you can do this.

The connection you make between yourself and your audience seems to be enhanced by the widespread use of examples. Our discussions at training courses show that your audience expects you to show rather than tell. In other words, you dont need to give them messages and content; instead you need to give them lots of examples and they will work out the message for themselves.

A further element of this aspect of being a great presenter is that these examples should always include you. Your audience wants to know about your thoughts, your feelings and your opinions. They want to share your experiences. If all you deliver is content, this does not help your audience. They could get your content from a book, a web site or some other non human contact. The fact that you are presenting to them means your audience wants to hear from you personally.

Your audience also wants you to be a living person. They dont want to hear from a statue. In other words you need to be active. The discussions held at our training courses show time and time again that presenters who move are the one who gain the most attention. If you think about this, it is quite understandable. In social situations we are active we use gestures, we move our bodies and change posture. To avoid doing so when presenting makes you look abnormal and this serves to disconnect you. There is also a big advantage to moving it helps reduce nerves when presenting.

As well as moving to be natural, our discussions show that great presenters are interactive. They ask questions, they involve the audience and essentially they treat the presentation as a conversation. This helps boost the connection between themselves and the audience. Thats because for the audience the interactivity appears normal, whereas being spoken at for a great length of time does not.

Another important aspect of making your presentation appear normal is that your audience expects you to deliver your material without any prompts. Conversations do not need notes! Hence your presentation will benefit from appearing normal if you do not use notes or any prompts of any kind including bullet points on slides. Discussions at our training sessions show time and time again that audiences do not like presenters who use notes, prompt cards, bullet point slides or any other form of memory jogger. Audiences expect presenters to know their stuff. Great presenters never use notes.

An extension of the lack of notes concept is that great presenters talk from the heart. They are passionate about their subject and they are emotional. The dispassionate, business-like presenter is one of the most disliked, according to our discussions. What this means is that you should talk less about your subject and much more about your experiences as this will help boost your passion.

Our training sessions also reveal that audiences want to have fun. They want to see you enjoying yourself and they want to have a laugh. This does not mean you need to tell jokes, but it does mean your audiences expect you to be light. Even for serious subjects it seems that audiences expect some kind of lightness. They want humour and they want you to smile. Straight faced, dry presenters are particularly disliked by audiences.

One final aspect that is revealed by the discussions at our training sessions and that is everyone in your audience expects the presenter to motivate them. This does not mean you need to be a motivational speaker. Rather what it means is that your audience is expecting you to tell them what to do. Your audience does not expect a presenter simply to deliver information they can get that from a book or a web site. Instead great presenters give audiences some action to take.

All of these discussion points suggest that those presenters who treat their presentation as a conversation who just have a chat with the audience are the ones marked out as truly great. People who give presentations by delivering content are seen as boring and uninteresting. This also means their messages are not conveyed, so they may as well not be presenting in the first place.

Oh, and one final thing. Our discussions show that audiences simply detest the use of computerised slides. They just want to hear from you. Truly great presenters therefore do one other vital thing they switch off the projector!

Graham Jones runs The Presentation Business at http://www.presentationbiz.com which specialises in helping people become great public speakers.

Installing a 32 Inch Back Door

In some older houses you will find a 30 inch back door. Have you ever tried to move a refrigerator or some large furniture through a 30 inch door? Keep in mind most bedroom doors are 30 inches wide and are in 36 inch hallways. 30 inch doors and bedrooms make it tough to move some furniture in too.

Let's start with the price difference between a 30 inch door and a 32 inch door. The cost difference is usually going to be around $20. If you are building a hundred homes this could become quite an additional expense. So we can understand why the home builder installed a 30 inch door in the back of our home.

He got the extra money in his pocket, you got a headache.

Here's the big problem. If you ever want to install a larger door you will need to replace the structural door framing. Now this is where you could run into a little bit of an expense. Changing the framing for a wider door could become quite costly. It could actually cost over $1000 in some cases.

Now if the homebuilder would have originally installed a 32 inch door in your house it might have ran him as high as an additional $45. How can this be? I will give you the first clue. There is a good chance the homebuilder will not be moving into any of these houses. If for some strange instance he did move into the house, he would learn the same lesson whenever he needed to move a large item into the house.

I'm a contactor and learned this lesson in a long time ago.

If you are building a new home you might even want to consider installing a 36 inch back door. This door will give you plenty of room when it comes to moving large items in or out of your house. The cost difference between a 36 inch door and a 32 inch door is usually around $20 also.

When building a new home most people don't give very much thought about their interior or exterior doors. Here's a simple chart I made to help with some basic door decisions.

Bathroom Doors Should Be 28 Inches Wide Minimum.
Bedroom Doors Should Be 30 Inches Wide Minimum.
Front Doors Should Be At Least 36 Inches Wide
Back Doors and Garage Doors Should Be At Least 32 Inches Wide

If you are a professional football or basketball player don't use these numbers above.

If you have large sliding glass doors or French doors throughout your home and can use them to move large items into the house you can install whatever size doors you choose that are comfortable to walk through.

Give some thought when installing a new door on your next project and keep some of the above tips in mind..

If you are designing a home give some thought to the stairways and hallways in the home as well.

Greg Vanden Berge is working on the internet to promote the education for creating simple to follow guides and home building books to help professional building contractors as well as the weekend warriors. He is currently working on more Building and Remodeling Library and adding useful content to help solve problems created by the lack of construction knowledge in the building industry.

Visit us and get more information on building and remodeling your homes and Bay Window Ideas

Are Your Prayers Being Answered